{"id":2171,"date":"2026-09-18T09:49:42","date_gmt":"2026-09-18T09:49:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptai.lt\/index.php\/2026\/09\/18\/278-we-spend-108-of-what-we-make-are-we-screwed\/"},"modified":"2026-09-18T09:49:42","modified_gmt":"2026-09-18T09:49:42","slug":"278-we-spend-108-of-what-we-make-are-we-screwed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sekmesreceptai.lt\/index.php\/2026\/09\/18\/278-we-spend-108-of-what-we-make-are-we-screwed\/","title":{"rendered":"278. \u201cWe spend 108% of what we make. Are we screwed?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"&quot;We spend 108% of what we make. Are we screwed?&quot;\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/t4oTz6zrRyg?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"\/><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"\/><\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border-radius: 12px;\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/5Eiqt6yVjjoYge6HZ65u4r\/video?utm_source=generator&amp;si=0beed33f4da54616\" width=\"100%\" height=\"400\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" data-testid=\"embed-iframe\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"\/><\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ramit unpacks how to stop overspending, take control of your money as a couple, and prepare financially for starting a family.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You to Be Rich talks with Grace and Chris, who are 30 and 29 and have been married for six months. They have around $119,500 invested and unusually low housing costs, yet their finances feel chaotic and unstable. They spend more than they make, struggle to understand where the money goes, and have never had a substantive conversation about money as a couple.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The deeper problem is the dynamic they\u2019ve fallen into. Grace handles most of the money while Chris takes a back seat, and both avoid the uncomfortable conversations they know they need to have. With children now part of their near-term plans, Ramit pushes them to confront where their habits came from and what has to change before the stakes get even higher.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_88 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Turinys:<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/sekmesreceptai.lt\/index.php\/2026\/09\/18\/278-we-spend-108-of-what-we-make-are-we-screwed\/#In_this_episode_we_uncover\" >In this episode we uncover:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/sekmesreceptai.lt\/index.php\/2026\/09\/18\/278-we-spend-108-of-what-we-make-are-we-screwed\/#Chapters\" >Chapters:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/sekmesreceptai.lt\/index.php\/2026\/09\/18\/278-we-spend-108-of-what-we-make-are-we-screwed\/#This_episode_is_brought_to_you_by\" >This episode is brought to you by:<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/sekmesreceptai.lt\/index.php\/2026\/09\/18\/278-we-spend-108-of-what-we-make-are-we-screwed\/#Transcript\" >Transcript:<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"In_this_episode_we_uncover\"><\/span><strong>In this episode we uncover:<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Grace feels like she\u2019s managing their money alone<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Chris\u2019s avoidance keeps the same cycle going<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why \u201cwe\u2019ll figure it out later\u201d keeps costing them<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How a $100 weekend budget disappeared at a baseball game<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why 108% fixed costs are only part of the problem<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Amazon, eating out, and social spending keep slipping through the cracks<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How inheritance, a mortgage-free home, and family support shaped their relationship with money<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How their childhoods taught them to avoid talking about money<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why starting a family makes their financial situation more urgent<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How they can finally start making financial decisions as a team<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Chapters\"><\/span><strong>Chapters:<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:00:00) Introduction<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:02:36) \u201cI\u2019m crying for help on a sinking ship\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:16:53) The baseball game that exposes their money dynamic<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:24:22) Ramit opens up their numbers<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:40:37) Where their $119K investments came from<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:47:40) What their childhoods taught them about money<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(00:56:46) They\u2019ve never defined their Rich Life<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:04:04) What happens if nothing changes?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:18:32) Can they make the next 15 months work?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(01:31:43) Follow-ups<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"This_episode_is_brought_to_you_by\"><\/span><strong>This episode is brought to you by:<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<p><b><br \/><\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wispr Flow | Try Wispr Flow for free at <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">wisprflow.ai\/ramit<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gelt | Gelt is taking on new clients now. Find out if you qualify at <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/joingelt.com\/ramit<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">NetSuite | If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get the free business guide \u201cAligning for the Agentic Era: How AI Is Changing Everyday Work\u201d at <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/netsuite.com\/ramit<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/joindeleteme.com\/ramit<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and use promo code RAMIT at checkout<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Got a money question you\u2019ve always wanted to ask me? Join me live on September 17th for \u201cWhy Your Budget Keeps Failing.\u201d I\u2019ll show you how to build a Conscious Spending Plan and answer your questions live. Join me: <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/iwt.com\/budget<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ever wondered what recruiters actually think when they see your application? On September 16th, Google recruiter Nicky Slavich will reveal what makes recruiters keep reading and when to apply even if you\u2019re underqualified. RSVP free: <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/iwt.com\/expertsession<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/iwt.com\/apply<\/span><b><br \/><\/b><b><br \/><\/b><\/p>\n<h2 aria-level=\"2\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Transcript\"><\/span><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Transcript:<\/span><\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:00.000 \u2014 00:00:04.480 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I feel like I&#8217;m crying for help on a sinking ship, and no one is coming to help me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:04.520 \u2014 00:00:05.640 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whoa. What&#8217;s that number?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:05.640 \u2014 00:00:09.000 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Grace way do I 108%.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:09.040 \u2014 00:00:09.640 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What does that tell you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:09.680 \u2014 00:00:11.840 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That we spend more a month than we make.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:11.880 \u2014 00:00:14.760 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You have no mortgage. Correct. So where&#8217;s the money going?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:14.800 \u2014 00:00:20.720 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We&#8217;re going out. Amazon packages are coming to the door and we&#8217;re going out to eat. And then that just kind of stacks up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:20.720 \u2014 00:00:28.440 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We had a conversation I need this amount in this amount for the taxes and the monthly bills from your paycheck. But then I&#8217;m watching them get beer after beer, buying other people drinks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:28.480 \u2014 00:00:36.880 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You two are skating on very thin ice. If I looked at these numbers, I go, give me a machete. I will cut this so aggressively.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:36.880 \u2014 00:00:40.840 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I would try and sit down and have conversations about it and he wouldn&#8217;t engage in it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:40.840 \u2014 00:00:45.360 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t know exactly how to talk about it or what&#8217;s really going on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:45.400 \u2014 00:00:59.210 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You all are on the path to losing what you&#8217;ve got and potentially having to sell the house in the future, but that still has not made you have honest conversations about money, and you&#8217;re married and talking about starting a family.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:00:59.490 \u2014 00:01:00.570 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can I take a second?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:01:03.970 \u2014 00:02:36.420 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How many times have you watched couples argue about money on this show? Might even be the reason that you watch. And I don&#8217;t mind because I think arguing about money is natural. It is the way that most of us relate to money. And I would rather have you disagree, even argue about money, than not talk about it at all.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Today I&#8217;m speaking to Grace and Chris. They are 30 and 29 years old. They&#8217;ve been married for six months. They want to start a family, and they can&#8217;t even bring themselves to have healthy conversations about money. They don&#8217;t argue. They don&#8217;t disagree. They simply do not talk about money at all. I&#8217;m going to pull up their conscious spending plan.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Assets $390,000. Investments 119 K at age 29 and 30. That&#8217;s very good. Savings 7350. That&#8217;s lower than I want to see. Debt is 22 K. Total net worth $494,000. Okay, so far so good, but look at the next number. Fixed costs 108%. What&#8217;s going on here? Let&#8217;s meet Grace and Chris. Let me take a look at the application.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because Grace, you wrote something that caught my attention. You wrote. We are unable to make big life decisions like starting a family because he refuses to engage or participate in any of the money management. While I know that we are struggling and need to make changes. Do you remember writing that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mm, yeah. What was going on at the moment that you wrote that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:02:36.620 \u2014 00:03:11.790 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That was a tough day for me, I think there. You know, we had had a really great conversation about where we wanted our where we wanted our life to go next, and that we are 100% on the same page about starting a family. But whenever I try and have conversations with Chris about it, it&#8217;s usually, I know what the situation is, I just need to make more money And I feel like I&#8217;m crying for help on a sinking ship and no one is coming to help me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And it feels very chaotic, which causes a lot of stress. And then when you have a partner who isn&#8217;t really ready or unable to have those conversations, it makes it really hard to kind of offload and partner on things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:03:11.790 \u2014 00:03:15.190 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You said it feels chaotic. What feels chaotic?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:03:15.510 \u2014 00:03:23.230 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our day to day living expenses are monthly expenses, like just the financial aspect of our life, feels chaotic and very, um, unstable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:03:23.270 \u2014 00:03:27.470 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, Chris, what&#8217;s your take on what Grace just said?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:03:27.510 \u2014 00:03:59.720 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We don&#8217;t really set checklists, we don&#8217;t really have plans. And I and I do take responsibility for that too, because, like, I don&#8217;t know exactly what to do or how to talk about it or what&#8217;s really going on. Then we&#8217;re going out and doing this, and Amazon packages are coming to the door and we&#8217;re going out to eat and friends, family.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then that just kind of stacks up. And then we look back at it and we&#8217;re kind of sinking.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:03:59.840 \u2014 00:04:02.880 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So do you want to have the conversations about money?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:04:02.920 \u2014 00:04:05.480 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, I&#8217;m very open to it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:04:05.720 \u2014 00:04:08.960 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m open to it. Or do you want to have them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:04:08.960 \u2014 00:04:47.080 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I want to okay. I want to she makes more money than I do in our situations. Um, so I feel like I feel like I don&#8217;t have a whole lot of, like, control in it, necessarily. It&#8217;s like, I, I, you know, paycheck to paycheck. She asks me for money, and I gave it to her. And that&#8217;s kind of it. In my role, I just feel like I&#8217;m just kind of like the side, like the side person, you know?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She she asks for what she needs for our, you know, taxes and our monthly stuff. And I just kind of give it to her. And that&#8217;s just kind of how it goes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:04:47.120 \u2014 00:04:50.680 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s the role, as you put it. Yeah. Who created that role?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:04:51.090 \u2014 00:04:51.770 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She did.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:04:51.810 \u2014 00:05:02.210 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, I did, but it was because I would try and sit down and have conversations about it and he wouldn&#8217;t engage in it. So I&#8217;m like, okay, well, if someone needs to figure out how to manage it, I&#8217;m going to manage it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:02.250 \u2014 00:05:03.130 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is it working?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:03.570 \u2014 00:05:04.250 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:05.610 \u2014 00:05:24.450 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">it&#8217;s working in the sense, like I&#8217;m good at numbers and I know what needs to go where it&#8217;s not working in the sense that I know it needs to go where. But I also am not a good person to say no to things. And we also prioritize social and like experiences beyond what we can.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:24.850 \u2014 00:05:26.570 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, what does that mean?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:26.850 \u2014 00:05:39.530 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like we, for example, are we had family in town and they wanted to go to a baseball game. And so we&#8217;re like, yeah, let&#8217;s go. Knowing farewell, we had $100 to spend for the whole weekend and that was not going to cut it. Oh, and we still went.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:39.610 \u2014 00:05:40.410 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How&#8217;d you pay for it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:40.450 \u2014 00:05:45.250 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I pulled out of the money that we used to pay our taxes at the end of the year. Oh, yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:45.290 \u2014 00:05:47.730 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. So are you good at it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:47.850 \u2014 00:05:48.410 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:48.530 \u2014 00:05:50.180 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chris. Is she good at it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:05:50.220 \u2014 00:06:00.219 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She is very good at writing the plan. I see her do it all the time. She has her sheets out. She. This goes here, this goes here, this goes here. And<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:01.740 \u2014 00:06:02.780 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">life happens.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:02.820 \u2014 00:06:03.620 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Execution is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:03.620 \u2014 00:06:03.900 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Poor.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:03.940 \u2014 00:06:05.900 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, planning is good, execution.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:05.940 \u2014 00:06:06.860 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Planning is great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:06.860 \u2014 00:06:09.300 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then. Are you skilled at money, Chris?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:09.500 \u2014 00:06:11.780 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No I know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:11.860 \u2014 00:06:15.380 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. When was the last time you talked about money in a substantive way?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:15.620 \u2014 00:06:31.380 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I wouldn&#8217;t say really. Ever. Uh, from my perspective, whenever I try and bring up like, hey, I want to sit down and go over this plan like, I&#8217;m stressed about this. I want I want to talk this through. This is where we&#8217;re at, how it&#8217;s kind of like, I know it&#8217;s bad. I just need to get a new job with more money. It&#8217;s fine and that&#8217;ll fix it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:31.420 \u2014 00:06:33.100 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And like, what&#8217;s behind that? Chris?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:33.860 \u2014 00:06:38.820 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think it&#8217;s on me. I think I just kind of curl into a little shell and<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:40.060 \u2014 00:06:46.260 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">don&#8217;t talk about it because. Because I&#8217;m just avoiding it. Okay, I honestly. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:46.300 \u2014 00:06:48.870 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you ever acknowledged that before today?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:48.990 \u2014 00:06:51.270 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Probably not. No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:06:52.430 \u2014 00:07:06.710 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I guess I just don&#8217;t feel like stable enough. I just. Maybe it comes more of, like, an embarrassment that she talked to her. Yeah. That you&#8217;re make more money than me and I&#8217;m lower than you on that pole. And.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:07:07.790 \u2014 00:07:13.670 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, it&#8217;s kind of embarrassing. Being the male in the relationship. And so.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:07:13.950 \u2014 00:07:15.830 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And that&#8217;s something. Sorry.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:07:16.150 \u2014 00:07:24.390 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s powerful. I appreciate that. Can I ask a couple questions about that? Yeah. Okay. Did you ever make more than grace?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:07:25.310 \u2014 00:07:26.070 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:07:26.230 \u2014 00:07:32.950 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And in your you mentioned it&#8217;s kind of embarrassing as a man. Yeah. What&#8217;s that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:07:33.990 \u2014 00:07:39.030 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t know. You&#8217;re. You&#8217;re supposed to be the the man of the house, the taking care of everything.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:07:39.230 \u2014 00:07:41.030 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What does that mean? Taking care of what?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:07:41.190 \u2014 00:07:47.120 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, you know, bills and the house and I. The main thing is just the bills.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:07:47.160 \u2014 00:07:52.280 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, so that&#8217;s what a man does. And then what does a woman do in this vision?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:07:52.880 \u2014 00:08:04.560 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well she can. My goal would be for her to do whatever she would like to do. Oh, um, stay home, have a job, do whatever. Just whatever she would like to do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:04.600 \u2014 00:08:07.680 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You ever play a sport? Soccer. Football?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:07.680 \u2014 00:08:11.000 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tennis? Yeah, I played baseball, basketball, football growing up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:11.040 \u2014 00:08:14.440 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, that&#8217;s a lot of sports now. I&#8217;m like, I don&#8217;t know anything about baseball.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:14.480 \u2014 00:08:15.640 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Baseball was his main one.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:15.640 \u2014 00:08:16.080 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Which one?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:16.120 \u2014 00:08:16.520 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Baseball.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:16.560 \u2014 00:08:17.040 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Baseball.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:17.080 \u2014 00:08:25.959 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, hold on. For football. I need to put. I know even less about football. Let me just put myself in the mindset. Okay. You all are on a baseball team. Mhm. And<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:27.160 \u2014 00:08:39.039 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">you play first base. She&#8217;s on your team and I go hey what position does she play. And your answer is I just want to do whatever she wants. Have you ever heard that set on a team.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:39.080 \u2014 00:08:44.490 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No. Because normally people have like certain skill sets for different positions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:44.530 \u2014 00:08:52.490 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Agreed. So she&#8217;s playing shortstop or she&#8217;s outfield or whatever, right? Grace, what do you think about this team metaphor?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:08:52.490 \u2014 00:09:05.570 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I like the team metaphor, and that&#8217;s what I want. And that was what I was going to kind of chime in. I&#8217;m not so much of like, I make more. You make it just doesn&#8217;t really matter to me. I look at it as we&#8217;re a team, so more or less put them together. It&#8217;s one whole.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:09:05.570 \u2014 00:09:06.890 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Thing. Is this working?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:09:07.210 \u2014 00:09:08.210 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Probably not.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:09:09.290 \u2014 00:09:46.660 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a dynamic as old as time. We&#8217;ve seen it many times on this very podcast. We have a husband not particularly engaged with money. Whatever she&#8217;s handling it, she&#8217;s better at math than I am. Then we go over to the wife. Wife is the one furiously keeping spreadsheets and doing random ways of tracking things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does she know what it all means? Not really, but she manages the day to day. And when I ask them, is it working? They both go, no, but nothing changes. They have their roles and they are seemingly intractable. How long have the two of you been together?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:09:46.700 \u2014 00:09:47.580 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Seven years.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:09:47.580 \u2014 00:09:56.300 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Seven years? Married six months ago. Right? Yeah. Congrats. Thank you. Okay, I understand in your application there&#8217;s been a discussion about starting a family. Mhm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:09:56.580 \u2014 00:10:08.100 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We&#8217;re kind of on the same page about starting the family. It really is just my in the back of my mind are like okay, we&#8217;re on the same page of what we want to do, what we have in mind, what our family will look like with kids. Two.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:08.140 \u2014 00:10:09.060 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Two kids. Two.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:09.100 \u2014 00:10:11.620 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. Cool. And is there a timeline?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:12.100 \u2014 00:10:12.780 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:14.060 \u2014 00:10:15.740 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Soon. Yeah. Within the next year.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:15.780 \u2014 00:10:16.660 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cool. Soon.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:16.700 \u2014 00:10:18.700 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. Everybody&#8217;s on the same page. Great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:18.740 \u2014 00:10:38.220 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So. Right. We&#8217;re on the same page. With these conversations, we have wonderful conversations. The. You know, the idea is great. But then in the back of my mind, I&#8217;m like, okay, now where is any of the money going to come from to pay for that child&#8217;s food and daycare? Daycare? Oh my God. Um, things like that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So that&#8217;s where the disconnect gets kind of crisis.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:38.260 \u2014 00:10:51.990 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think that, uh, like, we&#8217;re very much on the same page. We want the same things with, like, starting a family. The biggest thing with us is we just don&#8217;t bring in, like, enough money for what we want.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:52.030 \u2014 00:10:53.750 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s it. That&#8217;s the problem.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:53.830 \u2014 00:10:57.430 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, it&#8217;s some of it, I would say.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:57.470 \u2014 00:10:58.630 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What&#8217;s the rest of it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:10:58.670 \u2014 00:11:16.670 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just like lack of motivation. And on my side of things she like she&#8217;s a doer. Mhm. I get very comfortable in my situations and I don&#8217;t like change. Uh huh. I think that&#8217;s like the big thing that she gets frustrated with me about.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:11:16.710 \u2014 00:11:18.350 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That you&#8217;re not motivated.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:11:18.350 \u2014 00:11:25.510 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That I just get complacent and I just get kind of stagnant in my day to day routine.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:11:25.750 \u2014 00:11:26.070 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:11:26.070 \u2014 00:11:26.630 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:11:26.670 \u2014 00:11:30.950 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Get connected about that? How do you reconcile that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:11:30.990 \u2014 00:11:33.150 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If I could change one thing about myself,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:11:34.190 \u2014 00:11:53.600 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">that would be it. I. I hate not being comfortable, but nothing&#8217;s comfortable like going out. Doing job interviews is uncomfortable. This is uncomfortable. Talking to random people is uncomfortable. But those are just things that that move you along and even make you a better person.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:11:53.960 \u2014 00:11:56.360 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You talk to Grace about this. Have you told you this?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:11:56.360 \u2014 00:11:57.000 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:11:57.280 \u2014 00:12:02.880 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No, Grace wants to say, I&#8217;ve been telling you this for years. Go ahead, grace, have your moment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:12:03.040 \u2014 00:12:15.440 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No, I, I, I have known that that is in there. And I&#8217;ve known that that is the thing, right? I&#8217;ve known that that is his thing is that he is so capable, but he just hates being uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:12:15.440 \u2014 00:12:29.560 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I just think that I need to stop thinking about myself, and I need to think more about our future. You would think that that would be enough to light the fire and to figure something out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:12:29.600 \u2014 00:12:30.360 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:12:30.600 \u2014 00:12:32.880 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m just kind of stagnant sometimes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:12:33.760 \u2014 00:12:41.050 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is this a thing where it&#8217;s like, hmm, this isn&#8217;t working. Let&#8217;s have kids. That&#8217;ll fix it. No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:12:44.810 \u2014 00:13:00.450 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I believe in him so deeply, and I know he&#8217;s so capable of, like, moving on to the next thing. But he just gets in his own way of his own initiative. And I think that&#8217;s what holds him back is more of himself. Because it&#8217;s not that he&#8217;s not capable. It&#8217;s not that he cannot move on to the next job or the next thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:00.570 \u2014 00:13:07.970 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you find yourself, um, encouraging him, giving him advice? You know, if you just did this or if you say this at work, that kind of thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:08.010 \u2014 00:13:38.820 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We&#8217;re navigating that, I think, um, and that&#8217;s something that we actively work on outside of here in our own therapy. Um, because, yes, because I am a helper. I want to be a helper. And so I, I will admit, full stop. You watch me do it. I love to fill in his gaps because I know what I think he&#8217;s trying to get at, but not.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I need, I know I need to control that better in myself. Um, but I, I don&#8217;t like to see people struggle or, um, have people be uncomfortable. And so when someone I love is struggling and uncomfortable, then I want to step in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:38.860 \u2014 00:13:40.780 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What if I told you that I love that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:42.460 \u2014 00:13:50.460 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s good to struggle and be uncomfortable? And that&#8217;s where growth happens. And I know that. But it&#8217;s easy for me to do that in my career because I do that all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:50.460 \u2014 00:13:51.060 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Which is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:51.060 \u2014 00:13:52.500 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m a therapist, so.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:52.740 \u2014 00:13:57.380 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, amazing. And and then you are in therapy as well. Couples therapy. Yeah. Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:57.420 \u2014 00:13:58.380 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And individual. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:58.420 \u2014 00:13:58.900 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Amazing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:58.940 \u2014 00:13:59.940 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All the things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:13:59.980 \u2014 00:14:01.620 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. And Chris, what&#8217;s your career?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:01.860 \u2014 00:14:05.100 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m a warehouse manager for an industrial sales company.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:05.140 \u2014 00:14:12.820 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Great. Okay. Is there a recent conversation where you can recall where you clashed or disagreed about money?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:12.860 \u2014 00:14:13.580 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">100%.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:13.580 \u2014 00:14:14.340 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Go ahead.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:14.500 \u2014 00:14:51.790 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, it was just recently we were at that baseball game, and everybody knows you&#8217;ve wanted. You want a beer at a baseball game? You&#8217;re running about $25 a beer. Um, and we had a conversation prior to going into the weekend of like, hey, I need this amount in this amount for the taxes and the monthly bills from your paycheck.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&#8217;ve got 100 left to spend for the weekend. Like just know that. And we had that conversation. And then we get to the baseball game and I&#8217;m watching and I want him to have fun. I want him to have fun. But then I&#8217;m watching him get beer after beer, buying other people drinks, and I&#8217;m like, okay, hundred dollars is long gone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So what now? We&#8217;re supposed to go to dinner and do other things with this family all weekend? Where is that coming from?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:51.790 \u2014 00:14:54.830 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Where was the actual conversation? Where did that happen?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:55.190 \u2014 00:14:56.270 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Miller Park.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:56.630 \u2014 00:14:56.910 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:57.390 \u2014 00:14:57.910 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:57.950 \u2014 00:14:58.470 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At the game.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:58.510 \u2014 00:14:58.990 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Aha.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:14:59.030 \u2014 00:15:01.910 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. So can we go through that. Can we actually recreate it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:01.910 \u2014 00:15:02.910 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I was like, hey.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:03.550 \u2014 00:15:04.590 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, talk to him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:04.870 \u2014 00:15:14.230 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hey, that like that&#8217;s your fourth beer. Like, uh, where&#8217;s the money coming from for that? Like, you know, we had $100. And how are we going to pay for dinner tomorrow with your family?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:14.230 \u2014 00:15:19.070 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t know, my family&#8217;s in town, and we&#8217;re just having fun, so we&#8217;ll figure it out later.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:19.110 \u2014 00:15:27.910 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then I got up and walked away because I was like, I&#8217;m not gonna. This isn&#8217;t going to go the way I want. We&#8217;re not going to have a productive conversation. I&#8217;m just going to go sit by my in-laws. So I moved seats.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:27.910 \u2014 00:15:31.960 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What happened later as you went to dinner and paid for more things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:32.080 \u2014 00:15:36.200 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, that&#8217;s where I pulled from our annual funds.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:36.240 \u2014 00:15:40.680 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You didn&#8217;t talk to each other at dinner about. Are we paying and how are we going to pay?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:40.720 \u2014 00:15:45.200 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nope. I had just moved some money and was like, well, I&#8217;ll figure it out later.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:45.320 \u2014 00:15:50.280 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, so that&#8217;s interesting. So, Chris, you said we&#8217;ll figure it out, right?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:50.320 \u2014 00:15:50.720 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:50.760 \u2014 00:15:53.480 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then who&#8217;s we is going to figure it out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:54.640 \u2014 00:15:55.040 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:15:55.320 \u2014 00:16:03.440 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&#8217;re gesturing at her grace. Grace is going to figure it out. So really it&#8217;s you&#8217;re going to figure it out later. Yeah. Grace, where did you pull money from?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:03.480 \u2014 00:16:29.130 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We. So we own our home. So the money that we paid, we don&#8217;t pay a mortgage, but we have, like, the taxes at the end of the year. And so, um, I have, we have like a short money market account. And so what I do is I collect that money each month and then I put it in there to grow. So this is a terrible way to think about it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I know that this is a pattern, but I pull from that money because I&#8217;m like, well, I can just hope that the short money market grows enough to make up for the 150. I had to borrow from it. Oh, yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:29.170 \u2014 00:16:29.850 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does it work?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:29.890 \u2014 00:16:30.650 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:30.690 \u2014 00:16:31.610 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Haven&#8217;t checked.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:31.930 \u2014 00:16:33.330 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Haven&#8217;t checked. Hope it works.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:33.450 \u2014 00:16:36.370 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I love the answer. I love it. You didn&#8217;t even say no. You go I don&#8217;t know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:36.410 \u2014 00:16:37.410 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I have no idea.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:37.450 \u2014 00:16:38.210 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We just.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:38.410 \u2014 00:16:39.970 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pray it. It&#8217;s working, I don&#8217;t know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:40.490 \u2014 00:16:50.610 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why not just tell Chris? All right. Hey, listen, I understand you bought the beers. I wouldn&#8217;t have done it. You did it. You got to figure out where the money&#8217;s going to come from.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:50.610 \u2014 00:16:56.810 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t know, though. I get done, I get anxious that it won&#8217;t be fixed, and then it&#8217;ll be a problem I have to fix later.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:56.850 \u2014 00:16:58.210 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What if he has to fix it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:16:58.250 \u2014 00:17:20.290 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That would be lovely if I would not have, like, a full anxiety freak out about it. I&#8217;m a very like. Like I said, anxious kind of type A. I don&#8217;t know that I trust him to fix it because I don&#8217;t know that he understands. He&#8217;s not sat down with me to look at any of the numbers or anything of what I&#8217;m doing. So I guess my thought is like, how could he fix a problem that he doesn&#8217;t even know exists because he doesn&#8217;t know the foundation of the problem?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:17:20.530 \u2014 00:17:26.420 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe if you just keep figuring it out yourself, then one day he&#8217;ll magically get it. No no.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:17:26.420 \u2014 00:17:27.660 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No no.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:17:27.660 \u2014 00:17:28.380 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chris.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:17:28.540 \u2014 00:17:28.900 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:17:28.940 \u2014 00:17:29.580 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No, no.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:17:29.620 \u2014 00:17:31.940 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And this is the pattern, right? I know the pattern.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:17:31.940 \u2014 00:17:33.900 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But I cannot seem to change it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:17:33.940 \u2014 00:17:42.740 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can you tell me how money flows in your relationship? Where does the money go? You both work. What happens to the money, then, grace?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:17:42.860 \u2014 00:18:03.540 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, yeah. So each. So I get paid once a month. Um, he gets paid weekly. Like, my paycheck immediately goes towards our monthly expenses, and that&#8217;s pretty much it. So mine. I don&#8217;t really have any of after like mine is put in and immediately distributed. Um, and then his each week is distributed differently depending.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then also out of his paycheck is our gas and grocery money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:03.580 \u2014 00:18:09.460 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You mentioned his incomes variable, right. What if he didn&#8217;t make enough to cover groceries? What would you do?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:09.500 \u2014 00:18:19.380 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I try to prioritize making sure those annual and monthly bills are paid, and then I lower the amount of money we have for groceries. So you&#8217;re just eating ramen out of the pantry?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:19.420 \u2014 00:18:20.380 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Has that happened?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:20.460 \u2014 00:18:23.060 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, it starts to taste boring after a little bit.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:23.260 \u2014 00:18:29.990 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Which kind of ramen do you get? The chicken top ramen. The the orange one. Yeah, I love that. It&#8217;s good. It&#8217;s good, it&#8217;s good.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:30.230 \u2014 00:18:32.630 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I&#8217;ve mastered it in a microwave, so.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:32.710 \u2014 00:18:33.790 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, okay. Wow.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:33.830 \u2014 00:18:36.590 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, but no, it&#8217;s it&#8217;s not ideal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:36.670 \u2014 00:18:40.150 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, is your money joint or is it separate?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:40.150 \u2014 00:18:46.190 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So it comes in separate? Obviously. But then he just transfers over to me and I disperse it between our accounts. Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:46.230 \u2014 00:18:48.630 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So do you have any joint accounts?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:18:48.670 \u2014 00:19:01.070 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes. It&#8217;s been on a hiatus for a little bit, so we have not been able to put anything in it for a while. But that&#8217;s usually like, hey, I&#8217;m, you know, let&#8217;s put this much in and he&#8217;ll send it. We both have access to it so we can like, send the money into it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:01.110 \u2014 00:19:08.910 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. I noticed that when I&#8217;m asking about the account flows. Grace. You&#8217;re talking. Chris has been silent for quite a while. Chris. What&#8217;s going on with you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:08.990 \u2014 00:19:17.350 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think just because she&#8217;s just more knowledgeable and that I just. I don&#8217;t really know what I&#8217;m doing. So for the most part.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:17.630 \u2014 00:19:20.950 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. What do you notice about these roles that each of you are playing?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:20.950 \u2014 00:19:28.400 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It sounds very individual to me. Not. There&#8217;s like no teamwork. It&#8217;s like, oh, hey, I&#8217;m going to do this, okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:28.440 \u2014 00:19:29.720 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They&#8217;re very passive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:29.760 \u2014 00:19:30.320 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:30.360 \u2014 00:19:33.560 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There&#8217;s not much actual interaction.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:33.640 \u2014 00:19:34.200 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:34.400 \u2014 00:19:34.960 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:35.000 \u2014 00:19:35.720 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoidance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:35.760 \u2014 00:19:36.360 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:36.400 \u2014 00:19:39.760 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoiding argument. Avoiding disagreement.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:40.040 \u2014 00:19:42.720 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. What realizations are you having right now?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:19:42.760 \u2014 00:20:00.120 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I thought I had a handle on it more than I even did. And now, talking through this, I realized I&#8217;m much more passive than I thought I was. I try to be the planner. I try to be the executor and engage others. But the follow through isn&#8217;t great. It&#8217;s kind of just in the clouds. Yeah. Hoping that it works out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:00.160 \u2014 00:20:01.320 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mhm. Chris.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:01.720 \u2014 00:20:04.040 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well I have no idea what I&#8217;m doing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:04.440 \u2014 00:20:16.920 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. All right. So there&#8217;s work to be done. Yeah. Let&#8217;s put it that way. Mhm. Okay. I&#8217;m going to put the conscious spending plan up on screen before we look at the numbers. What was it like to do the CSP together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:17.080 \u2014 00:20:18.119 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I kind of<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:19.160 \u2014 00:20:21.930 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">took a backseat a little bit, and she kind of.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:22.410 \u2014 00:20:23.490 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She filled out the numbers.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:23.530 \u2014 00:20:25.290 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As usual, you know, she.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:25.370 \u2014 00:20:56.250 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Did you pull out the computer, Grace, and start putting the numbers in? Yes. Aha. And did you ask him for input? No. Let me tell you what I think you interpreted the assignment to be. Even though it&#8217;s spelled out grace you interpreted the assignment to be. We got to fill out these numbers. I know the numbers, so I&#8217;m going to fill it out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hey, Chris, come sit down and watch. But I&#8217;m going to fill it out. And Chris, you interpret it as, oh there&#8217;s some money thing that has to be done. And so like yeah like yeah she&#8217;s got it. She&#8217;ll figure it out. And yeah I&#8217;m here. Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:56.290 \u2014 00:20:57.530 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We misunderstood the assignment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:57.570 \u2014 00:20:59.170 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is the actual assignment?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:20:59.210 \u2014 00:21:07.410 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To sit down and do this together and really look at these numbers, ask each other questions about things you don&#8217;t understand or something that might not make sense. Communicate.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:21:07.450 \u2014 00:21:08.010 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Next.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:21:08.050 \u2014 00:21:09.610 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:21:09.650 \u2014 00:21:43.700 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communicate. I don&#8217;t care if one of the numbers is 50% wrong. We could fix the math. But you did not talk about it at all. Know, and I think this is true of different parts of your financial life. So this is something that we have to work towards okay. And the CSP is just easy black and white math. But it provides a very powerful instruction on how couples complete it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. Let&#8217;s take a look at the numbers. Grace, can you read off the words in bold and then the numbers next to it for this entire box, please?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:21:43.740 \u2014 00:21:59.780 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, assets 390,000. Investments 119,500. Savings 7350. Debt 22,483. Total net worth 494,367.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:21:59.820 \u2014 00:22:01.540 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. What do you think about the numbers?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:01.820 \u2014 00:22:05.220 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fine, I think so. The assets, a lot of that is our home.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:05.220 \u2014 00:22:07.300 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you feel anything looking at these numbers?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:07.300 \u2014 00:22:09.300 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m disappointed that my debt is that high.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:09.380 \u2014 00:22:12.340 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, Chris, what do you think about these numbers?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:12.380 \u2014 00:22:12.940 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:12.980 \u2014 00:22:13.460 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:14.060 \u2014 00:22:27.110 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The investment number. Savings is just low because we don&#8217;t bring in enough monthly to save. But the debt, the debt&#8217;s kind of a big one there.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:27.390 \u2014 00:22:35.150 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, let&#8217;s go down to the income this time. Chris, can you read off your combined gross monthly income?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:35.630 \u2014 00:22:38.590 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, 9377. Okay, cool.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:38.590 \u2014 00:22:48.310 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So that means the two of you combined make about $112,000 per year. What is a couple who makes $112,000 due with their money living in the area that you live?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:48.550 \u2014 00:22:54.630 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The median income. We are on the low side even with that 112 for the area that we live in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:22:54.990 \u2014 00:23:02.910 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, can I ask you to guess what the median income in your neighborhood is?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:03.350 \u2014 00:23:08.830 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I feel like it&#8217;s around 175 to 180. Okay. Like per household. Right. Are you talking per individual?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:08.870 \u2014 00:23:09.510 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Per household?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:09.550 \u2014 00:23:11.110 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. 175, 180.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:11.150 \u2014 00:23:11.510 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:11.550 \u2014 00:23:14.190 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think about like 150, 150.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:14.240 \u2014 00:23:15.520 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You know the real number.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:15.640 \u2014 00:23:17.080 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m going to be really embarrassed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:17.080 \u2014 00:23:18.840 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Probably 113,000.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:18.880 \u2014 00:23:19.680 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&#8217;re lying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:19.720 \u2014 00:23:20.200 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:20.280 \u2014 00:23:21.320 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, wow. Wow.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:21.480 \u2014 00:23:22.480 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What does that tell you? Chris?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:22.480 \u2014 00:23:23.440 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m stunned.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:23.520 \u2014 00:23:27.080 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sounds like we&#8217;re not good with our money choices.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:28.040 \u2014 00:23:30.280 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How? Connect the dots for me. How did you come to that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:30.320 \u2014 00:23:38.040 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The. What did you call it? The average. Median? The median is kind of right on par with what ours is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:38.080 \u2014 00:23:38.680 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mhm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:38.720 \u2014 00:23:42.920 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And so but yet we&#8217;re struggling. Yes. This much.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:42.960 \u2014 00:23:45.560 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes. No kids. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:45.600 \u2014 00:23:46.040 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:46.080 \u2014 00:23:50.760 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And we&#8217;re going to go into some of your other numbers as well. Grace what is occurring to you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:51.080 \u2014 00:23:52.320 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m just shocked.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:52.600 \u2014 00:23:53.080 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:23:53.120 \u2014 00:24:07.120 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because it feels impossible to live where we live and make ends meet with our income. But clearly, everyone else can seem to do it. So there must be patterns and behaviors and choices that we&#8217;re making that are not helping that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:07.440 \u2014 00:24:11.280 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&#8217;s keep going down the list. Fix. Whoa! What&#8217;s that number? Grace.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:11.970 \u2014 00:24:13.370 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Way do I? What is it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:13.530 \u2014 00:24:16.130 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Weight 108%. What does that tell you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:16.530 \u2014 00:24:19.050 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That we spend more a month than we make.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:19.090 \u2014 00:24:20.410 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On just fixed costs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:20.810 \u2014 00:24:21.970 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, it&#8217;s not great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:22.010 \u2014 00:24:37.010 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You spend more than you make every single month. It is simply a matter of time until you are broke beyond broke, until you lose it all. When you walked in here, what did you think the severity of the situation was? Chris? Did you know?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:37.130 \u2014 00:24:38.690 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I knew it was bad.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:38.730 \u2014 00:24:39.970 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Did you know what that meant?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:40.010 \u2014 00:24:44.050 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Enough, I knew enough what it meant. Oh, I think so.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:44.090 \u2014 00:24:52.090 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then did you then accordingly say to grace, we have to change everything. We have to light a fire. We have to red alert. We have to stop everything we&#8217;re doing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:52.130 \u2014 00:24:55.170 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No, I guess I didn&#8217;t fully understand that then.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:24:55.290 \u2014 00:25:01.490 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I feel like that&#8217;s kind of a pattern here. And, Grace, did you understand what 108% meant?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:25:01.530 \u2014 00:25:02.170 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:25:03.290 \u2014 00:25:09.650 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I understood it in the way of. I know what it meant, but did not know how to take action. I don&#8217;t I don&#8217;t know how to fix that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:25:09.650 \u2014 00:25:18.380 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But you didn&#8217;t say to Chris. Red alert. We&#8217;re not doing this anymore. We&#8217;re not going to spend this. Here&#8217;s what&#8217;s going to happen. This is what&#8217;s going to happen. I am becoming coach of this team now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:25:18.740 \u2014 00:25:24.940 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think I try, but maybe not hard enough or not as intense because I avoid conflict or disagreement.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:25:24.940 \u2014 00:25:27.340 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You two are skating on very thin ice.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:25:28.700 \u2014 00:25:45.260 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&#8217;re close to losing a lot. You have one months worth of savings here, but that&#8217;s still has not made you have honest conversations about money. You are still tiptoeing around each other and you&#8217;re married and talking about starting a family.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:25:45.300 \u2014 00:25:45.940 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:25:46.660 \u2014 00:26:49.230 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might notice that I am pushing them. I&#8217;m doing this for a very specific reason. They are oblivious to the severity of the situation and they are used to dealing in comfort. People will fill out applications. They will go through months of screening, they will fly here to meet me. And then suddenly, when presented with the reality of the situation, they will often revert back to the way they were.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They will start to minimize. Oh, it&#8217;s actually not that bad. We&#8217;re actually fine. We just need a budget. I don&#8217;t let that happen because if you went out of your way, you applied. It takes a lot of courage. I&#8217;m not going to let you go home just so that you feel comfortable. My invisible script is not. Comfort is awesome all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My invisible script is sometimes uncomfortable. Conversations are amazing. That is why I am pushing them to see what&#8217;s really going on here. And I&#8217;m warning you right now, I&#8217;m going to keep pushing. In fact, I&#8217;m going to push harder and it&#8217;s going to happen. For this entire episode. How do you own a home at this young of an age?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:26:49.630 \u2014 00:26:56.830 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, I&#8217;m very fortunate. My grandma and I buy property together, and so she and I own our home together. So we bought it in cash.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:26:57.070 \u2014 00:27:14.440 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, you bought the house that you live in now? In cash, correct. All right, so your property taxes are $1,067 a month. Wow. That&#8217;s low, which means your housing costs are 11.3% of your gross income. That&#8217;s amazing. Super low. Yeah. Which then raises the question.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:27:14.520 \u2014 00:27:15.520 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why is this happening?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:27:15.560 \u2014 00:27:24.440 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&#8217;s take a look at the rest. Utilities are 412. Insurance is 922. That&#8217;s pretty high.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:27:24.520 \u2014 00:27:43.200 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. So what what had happened was he had a subsidy that was given to him. And we, being naive and understanding how marriage works, didn&#8217;t realize that as soon as we got married we would have to back pay any of the subsidy. And then the the premium was skyrocketed. So but now we&#8217;re locked into a premium that we didn&#8217;t realize what skyrocketed, if that makes sense, until the end of the year.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:27:43.200 \u2014 00:27:44.520 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then what&#8217;s going to happen?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:27:44.840 \u2014 00:27:50.240 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, I&#8217;m just kind of hoping to find a new land, a new job that has insurance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:27:50.280 \u2014 00:27:54.240 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. Car payments 502. Yep. That&#8217;s includes gas.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:27:54.320 \u2014 00:27:55.080 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, no.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:27:55.200 \u2014 00:27:56.440 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, where&#8217;s the gas?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:27:57.200 \u2014 00:28:11.770 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The gas is in our grocery and gas amount, and it&#8217;s 600. And we do not have an exact amount of what we pay for gas versus groceries? I just put 600 in that account. That&#8217;s just, I guess, something I&#8217;ve never calculated how much I spend in gas and how often I feel okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:28:11.930 \u2014 00:28:33.010 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think it&#8217;s probably higher than that. I always estimate higher because I want to be conservative in my planning. I never want to get to the end of a month or a year and oh, money. Never. If anything, I want to have extra money. So I always am conservative in my estimates. So if this says 600, what do you think it realistically is?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:28:33.250 \u2014 00:28:34.570 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, 800.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:28:34.610 \u2014 00:28:35.250 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:28:35.290 \u2014 00:28:38.610 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, maybe 800 plus gas. Right now where we live is insane.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:28:39.090 \u2014 00:28:43.930 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think it&#8217;s 900 at least. Okay. I think it&#8217;s probably higher, but I&#8217;m going to go there. You spend it on a credit card?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:28:43.970 \u2014 00:28:51.810 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, no. A debit card we don&#8217;t use. We don&#8217;t. The debt we have is from credit card debt. So we have ceased all credit card use. So we are not.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:28:51.850 \u2014 00:29:00.090 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People in credit card debt use debit cards. Okay. All right. We were going to get their debt payments at $1,218 a month. How much credit card debt do you have?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:00.130 \u2014 00:29:01.410 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s all a credit card debt.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:01.650 \u2014 00:29:03.780 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That 22 credit card debt.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:03.820 \u2014 00:29:04.260 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Correct.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:04.300 \u2014 00:29:05.500 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What&#8217;d you spend it on?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:05.500 \u2014 00:29:32.940 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our house. Getting married. Um, fixes to the house. Like when we moved in, we had a pipe burst. Then we had an HVAC issue. Then we had a bathroom flood. So we spent that on the having to remodel the bathroom so that. That&#8217;s kind of old debt. I mean, it&#8217;s been there a while. So what I&#8217;ve done is I&#8217;ve moved it to cards that have like a 0% for X amount of months.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I&#8217;m trying that that debt number payoff plan is to try and get that debt paid off within that increment. So I&#8217;m not being charged the interest.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:33.020 \u2014 00:29:34.100 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is it going to happen?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:34.260 \u2014 00:29:36.580 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, if we can stick with that 112. Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:36.620 \u2014 00:29:40.180 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. That&#8217;s a good answer. How much is left on the car?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:40.820 \u2014 00:29:47.660 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, his car is paid off. The 502 is my car. Um, it&#8217;s a newer car. We got it within the last six months.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:47.700 \u2014 00:29:48.660 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What&#8217;d you get?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:48.900 \u2014 00:29:50.820 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A Ford Bronco sport.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:50.860 \u2014 00:29:53.340 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ford Bronco sport. Like an SUV?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:53.380 \u2014 00:29:54.580 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, like a little.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:55.140 \u2014 00:29:55.940 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How much did that cost?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:29:55.980 \u2014 00:30:00.910 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love that car. 30. 30,000. 30, 2000.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:00.950 \u2014 00:30:04.510 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What&#8217;s the real number? The way you say it made me question that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:04.630 \u2014 00:30:12.390 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m not really sure. I know, I know that that&#8217;s my monthly payment, and I&#8217;m on, like a 72 month or something or other.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:12.590 \u2014 00:30:13.790 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why&#8217;d you do that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:14.310 \u2014 00:30:17.910 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lack of knowledge sounded good to me at the time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:18.110 \u2014 00:30:23.430 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, I note that the car payment is not included in your debt.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:23.470 \u2014 00:30:26.070 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, that would just be a misstep on not realizing that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:26.110 \u2014 00:30:30.990 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, let&#8217;s fix it right now. So if it&#8217;s 22 plus roughly $30,000.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:31.030 \u2014 00:30:32.030 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. Roughly 30.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:32.070 \u2014 00:30:36.150 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&#8217;s make it 52. Okay, pets. What is this number?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:37.030 \u2014 00:30:41.310 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s a lot of different things. Um, I can parse it all out for you, but it&#8217;s a lot.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:41.350 \u2014 00:30:43.350 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">$735 a month on pets.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:43.390 \u2014 00:30:57.830 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, we have the cutest little dachshunds in the world, but one of them has chronic two. Okay, chronic pancreatitis. And so he has a very special diet and probiotic and medicine that he has to take in order to be okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:30:57.870 \u2014 00:31:07.400 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All right. Subscriptions are at 167, which include I like that you listed these off Spotify streaming fitness iCloud Coopers. What&#8217;s Cooper&#8217;s.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:31:07.440 \u2014 00:31:08.520 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cooper talk.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:31:08.880 \u2014 00:31:09.320 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Huh.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:31:09.360 \u2014 00:31:13.640 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s a winery. It&#8217;s $20 a month. Okay. But it&#8217;s. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:31:13.680 \u2014 00:31:19.320 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All right. You&#8217;re in for a quite a bit of changes under my guidance. Hey, buddy. What&#8217;s that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:31:19.360 \u2014 00:31:22.720 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s our dog. Like, if your dog gets lost, it&#8217;s their little tracker.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:31:22.760 \u2014 00:31:32.200 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. Ring camera, Amazon Prime. Fine. Um, grace wellness, which includes a GLP one and hair extensions. Yeah. Okay. And that&#8217;s 662 per month.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:31:32.240 \u2014 00:31:32.680 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:31:32.720 \u2014 00:32:05.570 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cleaning service and therapy is 280 a month. And then miscellaneous, which CSP automatically adds 15% is 903. I actually think that is completely accurate and potentially even under, because of all the things you mentioned that you are not currently counting. All right. So you all are at $7,868 per month.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And just to reflect, you have less than one month&#8217;s worth of savings as a couple with no kids. Very low housing costs who make $112,000 gross per year. Chris, what are you hearing right now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:32:05.890 \u2014 00:32:09.330 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That we both might have a little bit of a lack of knowledge? Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:32:09.370 \u2014 00:32:16.370 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, because you&#8217;ve said multiple times today. Well, she&#8217;s really smart at this stuff. She knows these numbers. Does this sound like that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:32:16.490 \u2014 00:32:17.170 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:32:17.490 \u2014 00:32:19.250 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is blind leading the blind here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:32:19.290 \u2014 00:32:22.450 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think that&#8217;s a really apt way. Yeah, not to be insulting.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:32:22.490 \u2014 00:32:23.970 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No, I feel that way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:32:24.010 \u2014 00:32:41.050 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. Avoiders do this. They use a series of conscious and unconscious techniques to avoid engaging with money. And one of them is they say, well, my partner&#8217;s just good at this. They&#8217;re smart. I&#8217;m not so good with numbers. You are using that phrase to perpetuate this dynamic.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:32:41.170 \u2014 00:32:41.850 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:32:42.290 \u2014 00:33:05.260 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, at the same time, grace, the fact that you&#8217;ve been unable to say, I don&#8217;t know what I&#8217;m doing to actually even acknowledge that, like what I&#8217;m doing. I&#8217;m moving money around 0% transfers 72 months for a car loan. But even acknowledging that activity is not the same as results. But you&#8217;ve got to be able to acknowledge it and then ask for help.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:33:05.300 \u2014 00:33:16.660 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;ve tried and it&#8217;s usually met with, I know I just need to get a different job and then the conversation goes nowhere. So that&#8217;s why I&#8217;m here. I&#8217;m like, I don&#8217;t know. I don&#8217;t know what else to do anymore. I don&#8217;t know how to ask for help. I don&#8217;t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:33:16.700 \u2014 00:33:36.980 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m glad you&#8217;re here. I&#8217;m going to try to help unravel some of this, but I just want to point out the language you&#8217;re even using. I&#8217;ve tried to have the conversation for something as important as we are going broke. I don&#8217;t try anything. I make it happen. Chris, are you hearing this? What&#8217;s going through your head right now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:33:37.380 \u2014 00:33:57.790 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That I need to stop shoving it all on her and start. And I need to start taking responsibility. How would you do it? But instead of just sitting behind her, maybe saying, oh, I let me at least try and handle this myself, or let me do it with you instead of just sitting there and watching.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:33:57.830 \u2014 00:33:59.790 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What about actually doing it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:33:59.830 \u2014 00:34:02.510 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, give it a try. See how it goes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:34:02.670 \u2014 00:34:55.760 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You all mentioned you want to have kids, right? Yeah. When you&#8217;re a kid, um, tries to, you know, read. Are they going to be good at reading? No, they&#8217;re going to be horrible. They can&#8217;t read a single letter. They don&#8217;t know anything. So are you going to say, ah. Uh, mommy&#8217;s better at reading, so let her do it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No, no, that&#8217;d be absurd. Yeah, yeah, we do it all the time as adults with money. We are bad at money when we start doing it. Of course we are. Like anything else. Playing basketball, cooking any of it. Now, cooking. You might be able to get away with it because you&#8217;re just like, ah, we don&#8217;t care, Ramon. Whatever.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, fine. But money is unlike that. Money isn&#8217;t like we&#8217;re going to have to eat ramen noodles. Money is. We can&#8217;t afford to have children, or we might become homeless even though we own our house.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:34:56.919 \u2014 00:34:59.960 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s why I think it&#8217;s different. What&#8217;s your assessment?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:00.000 \u2014 00:35:02.080 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I need to make make some changes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:02.280 \u2014 00:35:03.880 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, this is pretty dire.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:07.160 \u2014 00:35:08.560 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Investments are at zero.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:09.080 \u2014 00:35:12.840 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Which zero added to the ones that are there. Sorry.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:12.880 \u2014 00:35:18.000 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. You do contribute $136 a month to a 401 K.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:18.040 \u2014 00:35:26.480 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes. And then we have maxed out his Roth IRAs for this year. So we put in 7500 for that. So we&#8217;re.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:26.480 \u2014 00:35:27.160 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not. The money come.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:27.160 \u2014 00:35:33.880 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">From the passing of my grandmother. I inherited some things until that&#8217;s what a lot of our investments are, is o money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:34.000 \u2014 00:35:36.960 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I was wondering, okay, so how much did you inherit?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:37.000 \u2014 00:35:38.800 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think it was like 80.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:38.840 \u2014 00:35:41.520 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And you put some of it into investments.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:41.880 \u2014 00:35:45.760 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. And then started a retirement because he doesn&#8217;t have any. Through his career, I see.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:45.840 \u2014 00:35:47.120 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And the house.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:47.920 \u2014 00:35:50.050 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, we own joint tenancy. So it&#8217;s.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:50.250 \u2014 00:35:50.850 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So false to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:50.850 \u2014 00:35:51.570 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You. Yeah. False.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:51.930 \u2014 00:35:56.770 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. So you had 80. Where did the rest of this investments of 119 come from?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:35:56.810 \u2014 00:36:01.410 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, that&#8217;s including my retirement that I already have and then his retirement that we put in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:01.410 \u2014 00:36:06.770 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So a lot of the investments. Well, it&#8217;s real money. And it&#8217;s your money. It came from an inheritance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:06.810 \u2014 00:36:07.450 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Correct.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:07.490 \u2014 00:36:08.650 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What does that tell you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:09.890 \u2014 00:36:33.370 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&#8217;re not properly investing? No, not for your income at $112,000. And we can see that because you&#8217;re contributing zero per month post-tax going on to savings at zero as well. And then finally guilt free spending at -13%, which we know is not true because you all are spending guilt free spending, including ball games.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What else do you spend money on?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:33.370 \u2014 00:36:34.210 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dinners?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:34.250 \u2014 00:36:41.770 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, his family&#8217;s very social. So we go to a lot of events, like we just spend a lot of time with his family and they like to do things. So we go here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:41.970 \u2014 00:36:43.410 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ball game, eat out. What else?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:43.450 \u2014 00:36:44.450 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wine walks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:44.570 \u2014 00:36:46.730 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What&#8217;s that? What&#8217;s a wine walk?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:46.770 \u2014 00:36:47.380 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:48.100 \u2014 00:36:49.500 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Really fun. They don&#8217;t have them here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:49.540 \u2014 00:36:49.940 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:49.980 \u2014 00:36:59.500 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like they&#8217;re so cool towns. You literally get a lanyard with a wine, like a wine glass around your neck, and you get to go between shops and they give you a little taste of wine, and it&#8217;s really coolest thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:36:59.540 \u2014 00:37:01.580 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And does it cost to get in or do you pay?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:01.620 \u2014 00:37:02.860 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. It&#8217;s like 50 bucks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:02.900 \u2014 00:37:06.660 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All right. Y&#8217;all are 29 and 30. I wouldn&#8217;t blame you for going out and having fun.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:06.700 \u2014 00:37:07.700 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We enjoy them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:07.820 \u2014 00:37:09.420 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All right, I have fun.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:09.820 \u2014 00:37:13.460 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. What else um, do you spend money on?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:13.460 \u2014 00:37:20.940 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I will be transparent. I spend a lot of money on clothes. Lately, my body has changed a lot. I&#8217;ve lost a lot of weight recently, so I&#8217;ve had to buy a lot of clothes lately.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:20.980 \u2014 00:37:23.940 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What are some of the shops that you shop at or places online?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:23.980 \u2014 00:37:25.220 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I love Amazon.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:26.180 \u2014 00:37:28.340 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And how many clothes are we talking about?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:28.380 \u2014 00:37:31.700 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Probably more than I could ever imagine because I don&#8217;t really keep track of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:31.700 \u2014 00:37:37.100 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chris, you mentioned Amazon boxes earlier. Yeah. How many of those boxes are coming in the house?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:37.260 \u2014 00:37:38.820 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like multiple<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:40.260 \u2014 00:37:47.710 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">weekly? When we left to come here, I opened the door and there was like three things on the front step. Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:37:47.790 \u2014 00:38:01.550 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What I want to know is eating out. Yeah, I just want a quick number off the top of your head. No calculation needed. Eating out, including coffee, lunch, dinner, breakfast, any of it. How many times a week do you think that the two of you eat out?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:38:01.590 \u2014 00:38:02.510 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, twice.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:38:02.510 \u2014 00:39:19.280 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Twice. Okay, Chris. Quick number like, three, three times. Okay, great. Welcome to another episode of Raw Meat City&#8217;s lore of eating out, where people tell me that they think they only ate out three times a week. And the answer turns out to be at least three times higher than whatever they told me. You&#8217;ve heard me do this on the podcast before, and I love this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I ran Grace and Chris through my little audit. What did you all eat for Sunday breakfast? What about for dinner? What about for coffee? And the number we landed on was not to like Grace guest. It was not three. Like Chris suggested. It wasn&#8217;t five, 10 or 12. It was 15. What the hell is wrong with you, America?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t mind if you eat out a lot. Fine. If you can afford it. And you love it, God bless. But can we stop lying to ourselves? Can we stop saying, oh, I only eat all three times a week, and then by Tuesday, you&#8217;ve already eaten out six times a week. Come on, let&#8217;s get realistic. I want you to try this exercise yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Leave me a comment today on how many times you thought you ate out every week, including coffee, lunch, dinner, breakfast, a snack, brunch, any of it. And then tell me what the total tally is for the week. I bet you&#8217;re going to be surprised 15 times per week.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:39:20.440 \u2014 00:39:21.880 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What do you make of that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:39:22.120 \u2014 00:39:22.920 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Too much?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:39:23.520 \u2014 00:39:30.760 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, it&#8217;s ridiculous because we&#8217;re drowning and we should be making food at home and going to the grocery store.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:39:30.760 \u2014 00:39:34.880 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And anybody surprised by the fact that you thought it was twice a week and it&#8217;s actually 15?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:39:34.920 \u2014 00:39:38.480 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, not surprised. No. I had a feeling that I was not a good estimate.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:39:38.520 \u2014 00:39:40.240 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What? What do you make of this?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:39:40.240 \u2014 00:39:43.610 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That it&#8217;s probably more than that, too, because I, I get lunch.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:39:43.690 \u2014 00:39:48.450 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You all have concocted a reality that is not real.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:39:48.490 \u2014 00:39:49.010 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mhm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:39:49.170 \u2014 00:40:19.570 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We are trying to get to the root of what&#8217;s going on here. You eat out 20 times. If we factor in the days you eat out and probably the stuff we didn&#8217;t even count. You said two. It&#8217;s 20. So you all are spending thousands per month on stuff that we would technically call guilt free. But it&#8217;s not. It&#8217;s just discretionary.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think we can make some big changes. Please, would you be open to it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:40:19.610 \u2014 00:40:19.970 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Very.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:40:20.010 \u2014 00:40:20.970 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. Both.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:40:21.010 \u2014 00:40:22.210 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, please.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:40:22.330 \u2014 00:40:22.810 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:40:22.810 \u2014 00:40:23.050 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:40:23.090 \u2014 00:40:34.370 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, I like that energy. Okay. I need to understand how you got here. Chris, what do you remember your family saying about money when you were younger?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:40:34.370 \u2014 00:41:19.860 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There wasn&#8217;t, like, a whole lot of talk about it. We were. I was pretty fortunate growing up. my my dad had a good job. My mom had a good job. We lived in a in a pretty decent size home. How big? Um. 3000. Okay. Ish. Keep going. Square feet. Um. It was my sister. Uh, me and my brother. Um, you know, I, I was able to, you know, play sports, play on the travel teams where, you know, you had to spend a little bit more money to be, you know, to play.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I always got the glove and the baseball bat and the nice basketball shoes. And it was very steady for us. And I really had no, no problems growing up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:41:19.900 \u2014 00:41:25.780 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What money messages do you think you grew up with that you are now bringing to this relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:41:25.820 \u2014 00:41:30.979 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I didn&#8217;t have to worry about it. So I, I guess<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:41:32.500 \u2014 00:41:38.350 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">growing up now, I am kind of chill about it and chill.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:41:38.390 \u2014 00:41:38.630 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What does.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:41:38.630 \u2014 00:41:48.190 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That mean? Yeah, I just didn&#8217;t have to worry about that growing up. And I feel like that&#8217;s a bad trait that I&#8217;ve taken as a kid, and it&#8217;s.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:41:48.230 \u2014 00:42:11.590 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But it&#8217;s interesting because the way you describe it is you said it in the first two sentences. You said, I grew up very fortunate. Yes. My parents never talked about money to us. And here you are today, 25 years later, not talking about money, in fact, highly avoidant with money, you&#8217;re still not paying attention, just as you didn&#8217;t pay attention to money when you were a kid.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What&#8217;s the problem?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:42:11.910 \u2014 00:42:14.870 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, when we say like that, it sounds like there is no problem.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:42:14.950 \u2014 00:42:16.630 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There&#8217;s no problem for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:42:16.670 \u2014 00:42:17.350 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:42:17.590 \u2014 00:42:19.830 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who has the problem?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:42:19.950 \u2014 00:42:20.790 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My wife.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:42:20.950 \u2014 00:42:25.470 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes. And if your wife has a problem, then who else has a problem?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:42:25.630 \u2014 00:42:26.430 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Us together?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:42:26.470 \u2014 00:42:26.950 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:42:26.990 \u2014 00:42:29.670 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So then I have the problem? Yes as well.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:42:29.710 \u2014 00:44:31.790 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes. If I were you, I might reinterpret the way I was raised. Which is? Look, my parents were awesome. They did the best they could. They gave us a great childhood. However, they never talked about money and that has actually really cost me a lot. I never had to pay attention. I never even knew it was a thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And now, as an adult, I&#8217;m struggling to actually care about money, to talk about money. My wife is telling me she feels like she&#8217;s on a sinking ship. And I think back, I wish my parents had talked about it, and I wish I had taken a little bit more interest in it. Do you see how reinterpreting your narrative, whether it&#8217;s your childhood or adult life, can dramatically change the way that you look at today?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, yeah, I thought it was really interesting when Chris said I was really fortunate. Growing up, my parents never talked about money, as if the two go hand in hand, as if talking about money is a bad thing, because the only way to talk about money is if you are worried about it. Look at my face. Do I look like I&#8217;m worried about money?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No. I get the opportunity to talk about it. Money means, oh, I can buy a new phone. Money means I can take a trip or buy some Doritos. Money is not simply a source of stress and overwhelming guilt, but that is the invisible script going on here. Now, not surprisingly, Chris did not talk about money, fortunately.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And guess what? He doesn&#8217;t talk about money today because just like his childhood, somebody else manages it. Both of them have been subsidized in one way or another. There&#8217;s inheritance. There&#8217;s a home. There&#8217;s somebody taking care of the money. And when you are subsidized, it becomes very difficult for you to live in reality and to understand what it would be like to have to do things on your very own.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s why this conversation is proving so challenging right now. Grace, what do you remember your family saying about money when you were young.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:44:32.150 \u2014 00:45:09.030 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, there wasn&#8217;t much talk of it when I was young. We didn&#8217;t have a lot of it. My. I grew up with a single mom. Um, there were times in my life where feeding or, you know, paying our our babysitter with food out of our fridge. Like, it was pretty, um, dire in different ways. I was a student that was provided free lunch at school because I, you know, we didn&#8217;t have the money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My mom worked her tail off three jobs. Single mom. Um, so money was not prevalent. She say she really didn&#8217;t talk about it much. I think she really tried to be a protector of keeping adult problems and adult problem and not talking about it with a little kid.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:45:09.030 \u2014 00:45:10.110 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You grew up in the Midwest?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:45:10.150 \u2014 00:45:11.950 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. Um, um.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:45:12.750 \u2014 00:45:14.950 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How many siblings I have?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:45:14.990 \u2014 00:45:23.390 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, so growing up at that time. So my mom got remarried and then that kind of shifted. Also my financial experience, too. Um, but when I was little, I just have one full sibling.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:45:23.390 \u2014 00:45:28.950 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One sibling. And then you mentioned your mom got remarried. What age were you when she got remarried?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:45:28.990 \u2014 00:45:37.520 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I was ten and my wonderful stepfather, he has a great job and he moved us, you know, to a nice home, a nice area and.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:45:37.920 \u2014 00:45:54.360 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then take me through that moment. So you were financially struggling until the age of ten, and then suddenly your stepdad has a stable job, etc.. What was that experience like for you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:45:54.440 \u2014 00:46:06.360 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like total 180, it was like, oh, I can I can play sports. I can be I can afford to be a cheerleader and take these gymnastics classes and I, I can buy clothes and I don&#8217;t have to take hand-me-downs from people. And what did it feel like?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:46:07.560 \u2014 00:46:11.080 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Exciting. Um. Like secure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:46:11.680 \u2014 00:46:12.120 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What does that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:46:12.120 \u2014 00:46:17.600 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mean? Um, just that I wasn&#8217;t stressed or worried about that my needs to be met.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:46:18.000 \u2014 00:46:18.440 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Were you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:46:18.440 \u2014 00:46:34.210 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before I knew she was gone a lot, I you could, you know, you could kind of read between the lines. You&#8217;re intuitive. And I think I knew that, you know, you&#8217;re like, why is my mom have so many jobs? And why is she gone all the time? And why does someone have to watch me? So, you know, you kind of make your own narrative of maybe what&#8217;s going on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:46:34.250 \u2014 00:46:34.610 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What was the.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:46:34.610 \u2014 00:46:39.970 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narrative? Um, just that life was hard, and my mom needed to work a lot to make ends meet.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:46:40.290 \u2014 00:46:49.890 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So when your mom remarries, you feel more secure. You&#8217;re able to participate in school activities. What happens in your teenage years with money?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:46:50.050 \u2014 00:47:02.610 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You know, my parents are divorced, and so I never lived with my dad, so I&#8217;m not sure. Like, I know their financial aspect is a little different. But in the household I grew up, I never I never really wanted for anything. I never felt deprived of something that I needed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:03.010 \u2014 00:47:09.250 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, is your mom and stepdad still together or are they separated? They are. Okay. How are they doing with money?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:09.330 \u2014 00:47:10.889 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t know, we don&#8217;t talk about it<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:11.930 \u2014 00:47:14.210 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">at all. Not really. Okay. No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:14.330 \u2014 00:47:18.210 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. Got it. Did you go to college? Yes. How did you pay for that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:18.250 \u2014 00:47:27.340 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um. I was very fortunate. My grandfather and my grandmother, um, had an inheritance for or like, a college fund for each of the cousins. Oh, yeah. We were.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:27.500 \u2014 00:47:29.860 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What did they do to have all this inheritance? Quite impressive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:30.300 \u2014 00:47:33.580 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, my grandfather was a fantastic architect. Wow. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:33.620 \u2014 00:47:38.900 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And he and your grandmother. Seems like they saved and invested a whole bunch to be created.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:39.260 \u2014 00:47:41.460 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Trusts? Yes. Wow. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:41.500 \u2014 00:47:45.780 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, so they paid for your college. Do you know how much approximately that cost?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:45.820 \u2014 00:47:52.140 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, well, my undergrad and my grad school in total was probably about $230,000.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:52.180 \u2014 00:47:55.140 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whoa. Yeah, that&#8217;s a quite a gift.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:47:55.180 \u2014 00:48:03.060 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uh, and I don&#8217;t even have words to explain the gift. Yeah. Okay. Like, I am beyond lucky to have had that privilege. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:03.500 \u2014 00:48:13.540 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you take anything away from the example that your grandparents set by being able to give this money? Multiple generations later?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:13.580 \u2014 00:48:29.350 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I would love to do that. I have no idea how they managed it. Yeah. They seem to have had it really well figured out. My grandfather and my grandmother were very, um, smart with their finances. And I wish prior to their passing, I had taken more time to understand that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:29.390 \u2014 00:48:31.910 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you having those conversations in this relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:31.950 \u2014 00:48:36.190 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No. I would like to be, but I don&#8217;t know how to start them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:36.510 \u2014 00:48:40.150 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Grace, what messages do you bring from childhood to this relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:40.350 \u2014 00:48:43.070 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think it was. It&#8217;ll all work itself out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:43.110 \u2014 00:48:43.550 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mhm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:44.230 \u2014 00:48:46.790 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, so it&#8217;ll all be fine. You know, it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:46.950 \u2014 00:48:49.670 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is fine when Mom and Dad are the ones doing it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:49.790 \u2014 00:48:50.470 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:50.510 \u2014 00:48:54.270 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And you mentioned your mom was the protector when it comes to money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:48:54.310 \u2014 00:49:03.230 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. I think she just. She put her head down and worked her tail off and was like, I don&#8217;t want my kids to see me struggle, and I&#8217;m going to make happen what I need to make happen for them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:03.270 \u2014 00:49:05.790 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who&#8217;s the protector in this relationship when it comes to money?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:06.070 \u2014 00:49:06.749 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Me<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:08.110 \u2014 00:49:09.390 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">maybe I don&#8217;t know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:09.430 \u2014 00:49:09.990 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:09.990 \u2014 00:49:13.390 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think I&#8217;m shielding him from having to know the struggle of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:13.430 \u2014 00:49:14.110 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:15.230 \u2014 00:49:16.710 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">God, you&#8217;re good at that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:18.310 \u2014 00:49:19.950 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. No, that makes sense.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:19.990 \u2014 00:49:25.320 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And when your mom protected you from money? What was she doing in the moment?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:25.360 \u2014 00:49:27.040 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think the intention was good.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:27.080 \u2014 00:49:28.000 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Which was.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:28.280 \u2014 00:49:34.720 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To not feel the stress or the pain of, you know, struggling.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:35.000 \u2014 00:49:37.920 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because she doesn&#8217;t like to see people she loves struggle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:37.960 \u2014 00:49:40.400 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Or be uncomfortable, which is what I don&#8217;t like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:40.680 \u2014 00:49:41.120 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:41.160 \u2014 00:49:44.040 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I don&#8217;t want him to struggle or be uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:44.120 \u2014 00:49:54.080 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe I&#8217;ll can do this with your kids, huh? Not see them struggle and not see them be uncomfortable. And then when they grow up, they can do it to their partners. And then for five generations, we can just carry this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:54.080 \u2014 00:49:55.720 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No no no no no. Huh?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:55.760 \u2014 00:49:56.960 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No no no no<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:49:58.160 \u2014 00:50:07.600 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Wow. Chris, what was that? That was like a real gangster attitude right there. No. Thanks. Motherfucker. Where did that come out of?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:50:08.480 \u2014 00:50:12.080 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We just gotta. We gotta break the cycle. Yeah, gotta break the cycle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:50:12.120 \u2014 00:50:12.560 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What cycle?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:50:12.560 \u2014 00:50:20.370 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Though? The talking about money. Talking about uncomfortable things. Being okay with being uncomfortable. I hate being uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:50:20.370 \u2014 00:50:56.770 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So you&#8217;re willing to do it? Yeah, well, you are being uncomfortable by being here right now, I could tell. Yeah, 100%. And I appreciate that. This is not easy for anybody. So you are ready to change the cycle. Like that. Really that power you had when you said no, that spoke to me for the first time. It&#8217;s amazing, Chris, that you are willing to kind of let this dynamic persist, the one where you don&#8217;t talk about money, etc. but when it comes to a future child that&#8217;s not even born yet, you are fierce about it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not continuing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:50:56.770 \u2014 00:50:59.250 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That is a conversation that we&#8217;ve had. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:50:59.290 \u2014 00:51:01.010 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, you have had it with him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:01.010 \u2014 00:51:12.410 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes. Because that&#8217;s my thing, is this is the only other thing we dispute about is like, why are you ready to make the changes when a child is here? But why can we not make them ahead of time to set ourselves up for that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:12.450 \u2014 00:51:16.650 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. And have you said this is what I need before we have kids?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:17.090 \u2014 00:51:26.500 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t know what I need. I don&#8217;t know. And I think that&#8217;s part of it too, is why we&#8217;re here. I need to figure out what I need for that to. For that to feel okay and ready.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:26.540 \u2014 00:51:27.500 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You want to do it right now?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:27.540 \u2014 00:51:28.140 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:28.980 \u2014 00:51:30.060 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. Time like the present?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:30.100 \u2014 00:51:30.660 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:30.700 \u2014 00:51:34.780 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hey, I don&#8217;t like homework anyway. I might as well just do it now. What do you think?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:34.820 \u2014 00:51:35.300 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s all I have.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:35.500 \u2014 00:51:51.260 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By the way. Sorry. Correction for America. I don&#8217;t like homework. For me, as a 43 year old man who dominated homework for the kids. You get the homework and you better do it. We&#8217;re going to find out what you both want and need. Have you ever talked about what your rich life is?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:53.500 \u2014 00:51:54.620 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No. Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:54.900 \u2014 00:51:56.020 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, I mean.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:56.060 \u2014 00:51:59.220 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People who have talked about their rich life, they answer like that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:51:59.260 \u2014 00:52:00.860 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Vaguely. What&#8217;s a rich life?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:01.100 \u2014 00:52:02.100 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You tell me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:02.500 \u2014 00:52:20.830 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because my my rich life. I don&#8217;t want to be. I don&#8217;t need to be a millionaire. I don&#8217;t need to be a trillionaire. I just need to be able to be stable enough to have a family. Okay. Do you know? Do things when we get asked to or if we want to on the weekends with family and friends.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:20.870 \u2014 00:52:21.750 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be specific.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:21.750 \u2014 00:52:27.510 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I want to make enough money to just be comfortable where we are. I want to have a family.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:27.510 \u2014 00:52:32.790 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I want to eat out 15 times a week. That&#8217;s fine if that&#8217;s what you want. Sure. Okay, great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:32.830 \u2014 00:52:33.190 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;d be.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:33.190 \u2014 00:52:33.870 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Great. Great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:33.870 \u2014 00:52:38.830 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I would love to have for my kids if they say, hey, dad, I want to play this sport great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:38.830 \u2014 00:52:40.950 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And you want to give them the same childhood you had?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:41.030 \u2014 00:52:41.550 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:41.590 \u2014 00:52:41.910 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:41.950 \u2014 00:52:42.750 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That would be awesome.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:42.750 \u2014 00:52:44.990 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s it. That&#8217;s the rich life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:45.030 \u2014 00:52:46.230 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That would be awesome.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:46.550 \u2014 00:52:54.990 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It feels very surface level. It&#8217;s literally just a recitation of how you grew up. Like, if you don&#8217;t like travel, I&#8217;m not forcing you to travel. That&#8217;s your life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:54.990 \u2014 00:52:56.550 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not like not a big traveler.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:52:56.590 \u2014 00:53:13.389 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Food, leisure, convenience. For me to be able to treat my family because they live close by and they like going to a ball game and I gosh, once a year I sure would like to get box seats. That would be a rich life. But what I&#8217;m hearing is I want to be able to<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:53:14.440 \u2014 00:53:16.960 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">live a comfortable life. Yeah. That&#8217;s boring.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:53:17.000 \u2014 00:53:19.040 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But that&#8217;s. I&#8217;m a simple man.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:53:19.080 \u2014 00:53:30.440 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What I&#8217;m trying to get at is, is there something deeper here? And I think if you just wanted to learn how to save a little bit of money, there&#8217;s plenty of places you could have gone. Why did you come here?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:53:30.480 \u2014 00:53:32.000 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We. We came here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:53:33.320 \u2014 00:53:41.920 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, because my my wife, she&#8217;s she&#8217;s new. Who you were and knew what you were about. And her therapist,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:53:43.000 \u2014 00:53:45.520 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">uh, wanted us to check you out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:53:45.560 \u2014 00:53:52.440 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You came here because your wife wanted to come here? Sure. I think that might be the crux of what&#8217;s going on here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:53:52.680 \u2014 00:53:53.640 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe a little.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:53:53.680 \u2014 00:54:14.970 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The avoidance seeps into every part of your life. You&#8217;re even avoiding talking about your own rich life. I didn&#8217;t care if you came to me and said, I want to buy a $150,000 worth of shoes, I would be like, God bless. Let&#8217;s figure out how to do it. But if you can&#8217;t even do that. Your rich life. Not even her&#8217;s yours.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:54:16.250 \u2014 00:54:28.050 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s going to be very difficult for you two to make progress together. I want you to think about that. Grace, I want to ask you about your rich life. Actually, before I get to that. What did you notice as I was speaking to Chris about his rich life?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:54:28.130 \u2014 00:54:33.890 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think he wants more than he&#8217;s saying. Oh, I think he has more rich life ideas that he&#8217;s just not saying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:54:33.890 \u2014 00:54:34.530 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:54:34.570 \u2014 00:54:48.330 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like we want to add onto our house and we talk about that and growing, you know, and how he wants like just in more detail. I think he could say in more detail what he wants. I know he says he&#8217;s simple, but I think in his head there&#8217;s more detail than he&#8217;s saying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:54:49.170 \u2014 00:54:53.250 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, sometimes I&#8217;m, I, I don&#8217;t articulate<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:54:54.290 \u2014 00:54:55.210 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the best.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:54:55.250 \u2014 00:54:59.370 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. I mean, it is nerve wracking here. We got a bunch of lights and all that stuff. Fair enough.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:54:59.410 \u2014 00:55:06.330 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No, he&#8217;s just a man of few words. He has such great ideas and things that he wants. And I just don&#8217;t think maybe you describe them in the way that you want.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:55:06.530 \u2014 00:55:08.810 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Grace, are you okay being with a man of few words?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:55:09.620 \u2014 00:55:11.180 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, sometimes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:55:11.180 \u2014 00:55:56.300 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because I&#8217;m struggling to find out what your rich life is. And I know how to do this. What I want is change and sometimes grace. The way to do that is to set an expectation and hold the partner accountable. But because you don&#8217;t like to see people uncomfortable, you are currently unable to do that. And so you fill the void.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All these are just stories you tell yourself. What if you just change that? What if you flipped it? Oh, as of yesterday, I was not good at letting people that I love be uncomfortable. But starting today, I am extremely good. In fact, I love it because I know that every second of their discomfort makes them stronger.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hmm. I wonder if we could just change our narrative. Grace, what&#8217;s your British life?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:55:56.340 \u2014 00:56:24.190 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um. I love coffee shops and going and trying unique coffee shops, and I would love to go and try as many coffee shops as I want and not worry about how expensive the latte is. We want to fence in our yards, our dogs can run around and we want to put, you know, a play gym or whatever we want to put back there and have an all seasons room.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And we want to add on to our primary bedroom. And, you know, so I would love to add on because we do plan to stay in that house. I love, you know, we love our house.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:56:24.190 \u2014 00:56:25.790 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, what about for the two of you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:56:26.150 \u2014 00:57:00.110 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I would love for us to be able to still have date nights after having children. Nice. I would love to, like, really be intentional about intentional about time for like, connection with each other. I would love to be able to afford child care if needed or figure out how to navigate that, like with our families, because we do have families that really want to be involved, which is wonderful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But also if they&#8217;re not available, you know, I want to figure that out about how you financially work all those things out. Um, I would I would love to travel. I, I don&#8217;t we don&#8217;t travel a lot. Um, but if we had the means to travel, I think we would more. Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:57:00.230 \u2014 00:57:01.510 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What about for yourself?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:57:01.590 \u2014 00:57:17.240 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are some things that are also on our conscious spending plan that I do like that are self-care and that are important to me. So like some of the medications I take are, what I do with my hair. Like that is really important for my overall well-being in mental health. And so those I&#8217;d like to keep intact.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:57:17.280 \u2014 00:57:21.920 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Great. Chris, what do you hear when she describes her rich life?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:57:22.320 \u2014 00:57:25.440 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I feel like hers was more like, kind of like home oriented.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:57:25.520 \u2014 00:57:25.960 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mhm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:57:26.160 \u2014 00:57:31.440 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like we we do want to put on a Three Seasons room. We do want to fence the yard. Yep.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:57:31.520 \u2014 00:58:04.650 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like it actually told me a bit of who she is. Yeah. You know what I heard in that was like oh she loves coffee. Okay. That&#8217;s interesting. She&#8217;s a coffee lover, and she&#8217;d like to be able to do date night with the two of you. And then there&#8217;s something about childcare and expanding that, like, oh, okay, I kind of get who she is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s what I want to know when I ask people about their rich life. If you ask me, I would talk about hotels and travel and convenience and you&#8217;d be like, this guy is a little weird, but like, I can tell the kind of guy he is. The more that the two of you are specific about it, the more that we can rework some of your numbers.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:58:04.930 \u2014 00:58:16.290 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I would also add to love or love to add, if we could afford to have a long service. Yeah, to where they could take care of our landscaping and our Betsy. I like that one. I know that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:58:16.530 \u2014 00:58:20.010 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chris just goes, yeah, get those long guys out here immediately.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:58:20.050 \u2014 00:58:24.490 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talking about he knows it&#8217;s in his head. He just doesn&#8217;t think to say it. But Chris, we have the same.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:58:24.650 \u2014 00:58:28.130 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Kids and lawn care. Is that your thing?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:58:29.610 \u2014 00:58:34.250 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, I mean, I, I mow the lawn once a week. I got my little push mower.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:58:34.290 \u2014 00:58:37.490 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What age are you gonna make your own kids mow the lawn?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:58:37.530 \u2014 00:58:40.130 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe, like 17, 18. That&#8217;s too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:58:40.330 \u2014 00:58:52.850 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Late. What are you talking about? 17 years old to mow, maybe 16. I thought you were gonna say six. I was like my man now 17 for a push mower, bro. I was out there at, like, age, what, ten, 11? Mowing that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:58:54.450 \u2014 00:59:26.820 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is honestly pretty hard, especially because they have never faced actual consequences for their financial behavior. Sure, they spend more than they make, but they still have Spotify. They still buy all this cool dog food. So how am I going to get through to them? One thing that I can try to do is show them what is reasonably likely to happen if they make no changes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t know if it&#8217;s going to really land or not. I&#8217;m going to try my best. If nothing changes in your finances, if nothing changes in the way that you communicate, what&#8217;s going to happen?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:59:26.860 \u2014 00:59:32.820 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She&#8217;s going to keep looking away. I&#8217;m going to keep looking away. We&#8217;re not going to be on the same page.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:59:32.860 \u2014 00:59:33.300 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:59:33.300 \u2014 00:59:37.540 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then we&#8217;re going to be broke.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:59:37.860 \u2014 00:59:38.780 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:59:39.420 \u2014 00:59:39.700 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:59:39.700 \u2014 00:59:44.780 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It. No. Keep going. It&#8217;s important that you actually understand what&#8217;s at stake here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:59:44.780 \u2014 00:59:55.700 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And then I&#8217;ll probably have to sell the house. Yes. And then sell everything and get rid of everything until there&#8217;s nothing left. And then you have nothing. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:59:56.380 \u2014 00:59:58.220 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How would that affect your relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">00:59:58.780 \u2014 01:00:06.590 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Terribly. I never. I mean, I&#8217;m not going anywhere with her, but I&#8217;m sure it would be not ideal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:06.710 \u2014 01:00:24.830 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is it possible that the environment you grew up in was not particularly healthy for money, even though you all had a pretty nice upbringing for your entire childhood and after the age of ten? Is it possible you may have had things but you did not learn knowledge?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:24.990 \u2014 01:00:26.350 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">100% 100%?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:26.390 \u2014 01:00:29.430 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I mean, I always say like, these are the things I wish they taught you in school.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:29.430 \u2014 01:00:35.630 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You all are adults now. Mhm. It&#8217;s on YouTube. The freaking books are at the public library.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:35.670 \u2014 01:00:36.870 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s on my dining room table.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:36.910 \u2014 01:00:37.550 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Did you read it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:37.590 \u2014 01:00:46.149 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not yet. I wanted to read it together, so I haven&#8217;t started myself because I figured if I started myself, I would do it all myself. And then<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:47.430 \u2014 01:00:49.630 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">where? It&#8217;s money for couples, not money for one.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:49.670 \u2014 01:00:50.950 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So did you tell them that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:51.150 \u2014 01:00:55.110 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I mean, I told them, yes, I&#8217;d like to read it, but it didn&#8217;t really go past that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:00:55.510 \u2014 01:01:09.920 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, y&#8217;all walk around eggshells for the rest of your life, right into being, right into losing the house and the future family that you mentioned about having a child or multiple children. What will they learn about money if nothing changes?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:01:10.400 \u2014 01:01:14.320 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not good things, not good habits, not good patterns?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:01:14.480 \u2014 01:01:15.920 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, what will they learn?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:01:16.920 \u2014 01:01:21.000 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to avoid talking about money? How to just hope it all works out?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:01:21.040 \u2014 01:01:21.720 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chris.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:01:22.360 \u2014 01:01:36.120 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We&#8217;re good people. I think our kids are gonna grow up and see that we&#8217;re we&#8217;re good people. But, like, if we keep going on this path, our kids for sure won&#8217;t learn anything.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:01:36.320 \u2014 01:02:06.170 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They&#8217;ll learn watching the two of you. If nothing changes, moms are the ones who should be freaking out about money. Moms are the ones who try to convince dad to participate, but dad doesn&#8217;t want to because dad wants to buy the things he wants. And then mom is the one who figures it out. Not sure if mom&#8217;s even good at money though, But we got what we wanted.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We were very fortunate. They observed dads are the ones who are carefree, chill, easygoing. How does that strike you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:02:06.210 \u2014 01:02:07.050 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Accurate?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:02:07.090 \u2014 01:02:09.170 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, very.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:02:09.250 \u2014 01:02:15.610 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Y&#8217;all want to let your daughter grow up thinking that mom is the one who has to take on all the burden, and dad gets to do whatever he wants.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:02:15.650 \u2014 01:02:16.490 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Absolutely not.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:02:16.530 \u2014 01:02:17.530 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And a son.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:02:17.570 \u2014 01:02:18.170 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:02:18.650 \u2014 01:02:57.060 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No. So let&#8217;s change it. We&#8217;re going to look at your numbers. Chris, I want you to take a leadership role in this. You all are on the path to losing what you&#8217;ve got and potentially having to sell the house in the future. I need you to make changes, and I&#8217;m going to give you a little suggestion. Typically, people who are spending more than the 60% I recommend for fixed costs they chip away by.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&#8217;s cut Hulu, let&#8217;s cut this, let&#8217;s cut that. That&#8217;s not going to work in your situation. You can&#8217;t. So I want you to actually start with a blank page. And I want you to tell me what do you envision the kind of lifestyle that you want right now? is it can&#8217;t be the lifestyle you have.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:02:57.260 \u2014 01:03:07.100 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I feel like the pets is pretty. Can&#8217;t. Can&#8217;t mess with that one. Phone&#8217;s pretty stable. Maybe take out the Cooper&#8217;s Hawk wine subscription.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:07.100 \u2014 01:03:08.380 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s $20.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:08.420 \u2014 01:03:08.980 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:09.700 \u2014 01:03:11.420 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You want to see what the effect of that is?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:11.460 \u2014 01:03:12.340 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:12.380 \u2014 01:03:20.340 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;ll just show you. So instead of 60, we&#8217;re going to make this 40 and watch this number up here. This 113%. It drops to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:20.820 \u2014 01:03:21.260 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:21.260 \u2014 01:03:24.180 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nothing. Think bigger and move faster.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:24.500 \u2014 01:03:35.460 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The 662 heron GLP one. That&#8217;s a kind of a cosmetic thing, but I know it. It makes her happy. But maybe if we take that off the board, something might happen.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:35.500 \u2014 01:03:39.340 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask her, is she willing to make that change? She&#8217;s not. Didn&#8217;t ask her. How do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:39.340 \u2014 01:03:41.340 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You know? Are you willing to make that change? No, no.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:41.380 \u2014 01:03:41.980 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:42.220 \u2014 01:03:51.380 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. I mean, that&#8217;s like my mental well-being. Like when you have a condition where hair loss is a thing. Okay. Taking care of that is something important.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:51.420 \u2014 01:03:54.710 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I was not aware of that. Thank you for clarifying. Let&#8217;s keep it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:54.750 \u2014 01:03:55.710 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can I take a second?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:55.750 \u2014 01:03:56.790 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. Of course.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:03:57.950 \u2014 01:03:59.270 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Want to join her? Sure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:04:01.430 \u2014 01:04:45.310 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t mind that my guests sometimes cry. I don&#8217;t mind that they get. I don&#8217;t even mind that sometimes we have to take a break and they leave the room. Because these are very, very overwhelming feelings to encounter. Chris and Grace are actually discussing money in a way that they have never done before.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And yeah, I am pushing because I need them to see the seriousness of this situation. I totally respect and appreciate that she&#8217;s taking a second and I want to keep going with them, because discomfort is not necessarily a sign to stop, might just be a sign that things are starting to sink in. Welcome back.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Welcome.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:04:46.550 \u2014 01:04:54.920 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, I&#8217;m glad we got a chance to take a break. How are you both doing? Good, Yeah. Okay. All right. Thank you for letting me know I appreciate that. Was not aware.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:04:54.960 \u2014 01:04:58.880 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, because it is a cost. I mean, it is an expense and a cost, and so, like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:04:58.920 \u2014 01:05:05.080 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I appreciate that. Thank you. Okay. Let&#8217;s take a look at the numbers. Tell me what you would like to do next.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:05.120 \u2014 01:05:10.680 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe take the cleaning therapy out. It&#8217;s 280.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:10.920 \u2014 01:05:11.640 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask her.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:12.080 \u2014 01:05:13.200 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you cool to take that out?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:13.240 \u2014 01:05:13.800 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:13.840 \u2014 01:05:15.360 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. What else?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:15.920 \u2014 01:05:18.440 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, the subscriptions are kind of irrelevant.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:18.560 \u2014 01:05:19.000 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s tough.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:19.000 \u2014 01:05:19.800 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Right? Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:19.840 \u2014 01:05:20.440 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:20.680 \u2014 01:05:22.800 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What would you do? What would you like to do?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:23.000 \u2014 01:05:30.240 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I personally would just be like, okay, then we don&#8217;t have gas or, like, we will just take out all the food, money because everything else I don&#8217;t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:30.280 \u2014 01:05:32.880 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&#8217;re going to take out food before.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:32.920 \u2014 01:05:33.400 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s that&#8217;s.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:33.480 \u2014 01:05:47.320 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I just want to point out what you&#8217;re saying. No, I want you to hear it out loud. What you just said is we will take out food before we take out a cleaning service, before we take out fitness, Spotify, pets. We&#8217;ll take out food.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:47.680 \u2014 01:05:49.250 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, I&#8217;d lower it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:49.490 \u2014 01:05:58.010 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can lower it by $100. Not going to change a thing. What are you realizing? I just gave you the opportunity to cut from 113% to 60%. And you got.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:58.050 \u2014 01:05:58.610 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nowhere.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:05:58.650 \u2014 01:06:00.570 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nowhere? What are you realizing?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:00.810 \u2014 01:06:04.010 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m having a hard time being willing to compromise on this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:04.370 \u2014 01:06:16.530 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Flip it from now on, Chris, for the next two minutes, you are completely in charge. I give you carte blanche. Do whatever you want, and she will support you just for the next two minutes. Go ahead.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:16.610 \u2014 01:06:21.010 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Probably the first easy ones would probably be like Spotify streaming.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:21.690 \u2014 01:06:22.970 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just tell me the number.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:23.330 \u2014 01:06:25.210 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, maybe, like, cut in half.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:25.370 \u2014 01:06:28.050 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All right. What else?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:28.290 \u2014 01:06:36.970 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe, like cleaning and therapy. Just scratch that. Okay. Maybe somehow cut groceries and gas in half. No, that&#8217;s not really.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:36.970 \u2014 01:06:38.330 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;ll cut it for a hundred bucks, though.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:38.370 \u2014 01:06:40.410 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sure. Maybe. Pets.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:40.530 \u2014 01:06:42.010 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. Huh? Cheaper food?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:42.050 \u2014 01:06:42.490 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:42.490 \u2014 01:06:43.250 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What else?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:43.450 \u2014 01:06:44.130 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s about it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:44.170 \u2014 01:06:45.730 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All right, so we drop it a hundred.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:45.770 \u2014 01:06:46.450 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:46.580 \u2014 01:06:53.020 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember, you are currently you have a magic wand. You can do anything you want. You have 30 more seconds.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:53.300 \u2014 01:06:54.540 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s probably all I could do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:54.580 \u2014 01:06:55.620 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All right, so.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:55.780 \u2014 01:06:58.340 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I can&#8217;t do anything else. That&#8217;s it. Yeah, I can&#8217;t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:58.380 \u2014 01:06:59.740 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not because. Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:06:59.780 \u2014 01:07:00.420 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just can&#8217;t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:07:00.460 \u2014 01:07:22.340 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Didn&#8217;t you tell me at the beginning? Like I want to be the man of the relationship. And the man is the one who provides. ET cetera. Yeah. In that prototypical way of thinking about life doesn&#8217;t demand. Especially when somebody like me is like, you have carte blanche. You could do anything you want. Magic wand.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Aren&#8217;t they just, like, motherfuck these numbers and they just chop it out? Isn&#8217;t that what the man does?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:07:22.500 \u2014 01:07:23.700 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, but I can&#8217;t do that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:07:23.740 \u2014 01:07:24.260 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:07:24.780 \u2014 01:07:25.780 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because I can&#8217;t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:07:25.820 \u2014 01:07:40.180 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, the number is you went from 113 to 104%. You all are broke. That&#8217;s simply unsustainable. Yeah. I think what&#8217;s happening here is you all want me to do some magic trick for you, when you all are not even willing to make the changes yourself? Is that what&#8217;s happening?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:07:40.620 \u2014 01:07:42.260 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I could see it look like that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:07:42.380 \u2014 01:07:48.190 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Scroll down. Take out. You got to take out the GLP one in the hair. Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:07:48.230 \u2014 01:07:48.590 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Zero to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:07:48.630 \u2014 01:07:57.950 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That out. Um, maybe only like a streaming thing for, like, to watch TV or something. Okay, great. I mean, yeah, I don&#8217;t really know what else to do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:07:57.990 \u2014 01:08:00.990 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We pay for dog walking services. It&#8217;s like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:08:01.030 \u2014 01:08:01.910 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:08:01.990 \u2014 01:08:03.870 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">360 a month. What?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:08:04.350 \u2014 01:08:07.990 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">350 bucks a month for a dog walker out of 635.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:08:08.030 \u2014 01:08:13.750 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Only three days a week. It&#8217;s crazy. Dog walking is expensive. So. So, I mean, in theory, yes. That could.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:08:13.790 \u2014 01:08:14.830 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I mean, there you go. Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:08:14.830 \u2014 01:08:21.190 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Goodbye. Dog walker. All right. You&#8217;re at 89%. It&#8217;s better. Nice, but not enough.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:08:21.270 \u2014 01:08:22.509 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is the number need to be to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:08:22.509 \u2014 01:08:23.549 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not 60.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:08:23.589 \u2014 01:08:25.830 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<ol start=\"60\">\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Okay.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:08:26.549 \u2014 01:10:26.010 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I find this very peculiar phenomenon, especially in self-development, where people are obsessed with finding the perfect book, the perfect coach, the perfect program. And they almost never take a look in the mirror and ask themselves, am I coachable? And that is what I am seeing here. Are they ready to change?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don&#8217;t know, but it&#8217;s pretty difficult for me to get them to see it. Now that doesn&#8217;t mean they are uncatchable forever. We all have parts of our own life right now, today that we are not coachable in, including me. But there has to be a day where if we want to make a big change, we are coachable. So how do you become coachable?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s hard. It takes practice and most of us have systematically shut that skill set down as we become adults because it&#8217;s uncomfortable. It makes us feel bad. I don&#8217;t want to do it. I&#8217;ll avoid it. Or if the situation comes, I will just lie. Here&#8217;s a different way to look at it. One deep acknowledgment that I have a problem and I need to change.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No minimization. No equivocation. Second, we need to make a change. Not the world, not somebody else. Not us. Me? I need to make a change. And then third, even the simplest specific tactic. From now on, I am going to ask my partner to lead our money conversations because I have been trying to do it my way and it&#8217;s not working.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s just the basic scratching the surface of how you become more coachable, which is a huge skill to develop. You have to remember you&#8217;re at 89% with effectively no mortgage. This is not acceptable. If you had a mortgage, it&#8217;s one thing. Even still, it would be unacceptable. You have no mortgage, correct?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So where&#8217;s the money going? Look, miscellaneous is $809. No way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:10:27.370 \u2014 01:11:27.260 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But no one here said anything. Because both of you fundamentally don&#8217;t believe you have control over your money. If I looked at these numbers, I go, give me a machete. I will cut this so aggressively. There&#8217;s no way on this planet that we allow $809 in miscellaneous to happen. I&#8217;m going to fix it. I&#8217;ll go.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. Wow. Cool. You&#8217;re telling me like that. What are you going to do? We&#8217;re going to be in control of our numbers. We&#8217;re going to download it every week. We&#8217;re going to have a conversation. Oh, wow. We&#8217;re going to give ourselves only $100 a month so that this number becomes in control and suddenly we&#8217;re down to 79%.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, that&#8217;s better. But it&#8217;s still not enough insurance that needs to be fixed. Chris, I need you to find out about this different job. I need you to find out what&#8217;s going to happen. We can afford this for a while, but we cannot afford this for more than six months. What are you going to do? What&#8217;s the plan? Give me a report on it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chris, I need you to take control because I don&#8217;t want to be looking over your shoulder. This isn&#8217;t the way the two of you talk right now. What do you say instead?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:11:27.660 \u2014 01:11:28.300 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:11:28.340 \u2014 01:11:33.460 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. In a future like the one I was just describing, where I&#8217;m aggressive,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:11:34.940 \u2014 01:11:38.350 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how would that ball game conversation have gone differently.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:11:38.590 \u2014 01:11:40.670 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We probably wouldn&#8217;t have even gone, to be honest with you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:11:40.710 \u2014 01:11:45.470 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Bingo. My family calls me, hey, we&#8217;re going to the ball game. It&#8217;s a special occasion. What would I have said?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:11:45.710 \u2014 01:11:47.190 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No, thanks. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:11:47.470 \u2014 01:11:52.070 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I wish I could. I love you guys right now. Finish the sentence for me right now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:11:52.070 \u2014 01:11:52.990 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I can&#8217;t afford it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:11:53.030 \u2014 01:12:04.830 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Right now, we are prioritizing paying off our debt. Right now, we need to focus on saving money for the two of us. Hard to argue with that. Oh, come on, come on. We love you. It&#8217;s okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:04.910 \u2014 01:12:05.550 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:05.910 \u2014 01:12:06.950 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That would have got you right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:06.990 \u2014 01:12:07.670 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:08.550 \u2014 01:12:25.430 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But until you can prioritize this relationship, specifically the finances and the connection, you will simply continue sinking underwater. And isn&#8217;t that what you described this financial arrangement right now? You said it&#8217;s a sinking ship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:26.510 \u2014 01:12:30.990 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Finally, where would a expenses for a kid go?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:31.790 \u2014 01:12:32.870 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Great question.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:33.310 \u2014 01:12:46.400 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nowhere. There&#8217;s no money. We&#8217;re not even diapers. Couldn&#8217;t even afford that. Much less child care. And all the massive costs that come along with one kid. What&#8217;s happening right now? What are you both realizing?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:46.440 \u2014 01:12:47.400 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s terrifying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:47.800 \u2014 01:12:50.840 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Good. Yes. Terrifying. Good.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:50.880 \u2014 01:12:51.560 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sad?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:12:51.760 \u2014 01:13:00.680 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes. Notice my reaction? Am I trying to assuage it? Am I trying to make you feel better right now because I don&#8217;t like discomfort? No, no. What am I doing?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:13:00.720 \u2014 01:13:01.760 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Letting me sit in it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:13:01.800 \u2014 01:13:11.800 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, you earned it. And the only way you change is you realize how close you are to the edge of disaster. I have questions, the debt payments. When are they over?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:13:12.480 \u2014 01:13:22.520 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, some are 12 month and some are 15 months. So some should be over by December and some should be over by March. April of 27.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:13:22.520 \u2014 01:13:56.210 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can we look? I&#8217;m just going to zero this out to see what happens. Yeah okay. Fast forwarding you&#8217;re down to 61% when that debt is paid off. Wow. That&#8217;s pretty amazing. That&#8217;s a stark difference, but I want to paint the picture for you at 15 months. If you were to execute this plan flawlessly, which I think is unrealistic, would we all agree?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yep. It would mean that the GLP ones would stop today. Hair extensions would stop today. Eating out. There would be no eating out for 15 months. Pet food cut in half. Does this sound realistic?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:13:56.850 \u2014 01:13:57.250 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:13:57.250 \u2014 01:13:58.130 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Both saying no.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:13:58.130 \u2014 01:13:58.730 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:13:59.010 \u2014 01:14:00.410 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What&#8217;s the solution here?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:00.650 \u2014 01:14:01.770 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At least do something.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:01.810 \u2014 01:14:23.170 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We&#8217;ve been pretty. The the debt payments are something that have been consistently being paid off. So they are on track to be paid. Okay. Um, in regards to, like, my medicine, that I am almost where I will be stopping anyway. So that will be, um, about $450 a month. That will be cut out soon.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:23.570 \u2014 01:14:24.690 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What about earning?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:24.770 \u2014 01:14:28.010 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, I mean, I get an annual increase every year.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:28.050 \u2014 01:14:28.730 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How much?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:28.930 \u2014 01:14:31.460 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, it varies between 3 to 5%.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:31.500 \u2014 01:14:33.500 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay, fine. Chris.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:33.660 \u2014 01:14:38.420 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Bottom line, I would probably just have to switch my eye. Job is mine.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:38.460 \u2014 01:14:47.820 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I didn&#8217;t even put this in here, and you&#8217;re probably gonna freak out. Um, I have a second job, but it doesn&#8217;t bring in a lot of money. It brings in about 8 to 10 grand a year.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:47.860 \u2014 01:14:53.340 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, wait, that&#8217;s pretty good. What? Ten grand is not a lot. That&#8217;s a lot of money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:14:53.380 \u2014 01:15:08.580 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, I use it to pay off all the miscellaneous things and the the inquiries and the stuff you don&#8217;t count. So it kind of just sits in an account, and then I pull from it to, like, you know, so I don&#8217;t really disperse it anywhere because I try and hold on to it until I.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:15:08.740 \u2014 01:15:16.500 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Grace, listen, you&#8217;re not managing money effectively. Yeah. And you are not demanding enough of your partner. What are you hearing me say?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:15:16.620 \u2014 01:15:20.380 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That I am not managing my money effectively, and I&#8217;m not demanding enough of my partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:15:20.420 \u2014 01:15:23.220 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How would you do each of those in turn? Be specific.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:15:23.340 \u2014 01:15:29.670 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, I would start to be more direct in my conversations and in my approach and my tone and my tenacity about it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:15:29.710 \u2014 01:15:31.230 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. For example.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:15:31.950 \u2014 01:15:38.390 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like, hey, we don&#8217;t even if we have this $100 left over, we aren&#8217;t we are not going to we&#8217;re not going to the game.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:15:38.630 \u2014 01:15:39.110 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Correct.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:15:39.150 \u2014 01:15:50.070 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We&#8217;re not going to attend that. We are putting like we can go and hang out at the house when they&#8217;re done or whenever they get back, but we can&#8217;t go to that event or. Yeah, I know the wine walk is for your dad&#8217;s birthday, but we we can&#8217;t afford it right now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:15:50.110 \u2014 01:15:54.630 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Great. Um, I love that. Chris, how would you receive that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:15:55.110 \u2014 01:16:03.790 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Probably not. Well, to be honest with you, but seeing this, like there just needs to be a change, or else we&#8217;re just not going to survive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:16:03.830 \u2014 01:16:16.110 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, yes, I appreciate your honesty. Actually, that&#8217;s pretty cool of you to just be like, yeah, I wouldn&#8217;t take it. Well, nobody does the first few times. And let me give you a little suggestion as to how to get to the point where you do receive it. Well,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:16:17.270 \u2014 01:17:11.400 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">if the two of you continue individually, then if you try to make a change, you are each going to invisibly tug like a tug of war. and it will be impossible to change. You will go right back to the way you were. So like or like, I&#8217;ll just do this for three more months. It&#8217;ll be fine. Oh, the dogs are so cute. We can&#8217;t do that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What if they don&#8217;t like the food, etc.? The beers. Oh, come on, it&#8217;s just my dad&#8217;s birthday. It&#8217;s once a year and you will resent each other. It&#8217;s horrible place to be. What the two of you need to do is to find a vision together. Where you are both like, this is what we&#8217;re doing. The outside world is not relevant to us.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We are the most important ones here because if we don&#8217;t do this, we&#8217;re going to be stuck in this forever, and then we&#8217;re going to pass it on to our kids. For the one to third generation and maybe more, you have to find your why. That&#8217;s why I talk about a rich life. You can get there in 15 months, maybe sooner. Thoughts?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:17:11.480 \u2014 01:17:12.680 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That sounds good to me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:17:12.720 \u2014 01:17:15.000 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, that sounds great. We just gotta stick to it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:17:15.240 \u2014 01:17:16.600 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How are you gonna do that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:17:18.920 \u2014 01:17:27.650 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A lot of silence here. What&#8217;s happening? Remember, I&#8217;m here to support you. I&#8217;m not here to tell you to do something you don&#8217;t want to do. Grace, what&#8217;s going through your head right now?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:17:27.690 \u2014 01:17:41.690 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m having a hard time with the idea of cutting and thinking about the fixed costs and the thing. Like, I, I think that I&#8217;ve tried to eliminate things as much as I could thus far without making my life miserable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:17:43.050 \u2014 01:17:51.370 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like, those things are all to me. Things that that keep me okay in life. I think I&#8217;m overwhelmed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:17:51.410 \u2014 01:17:58.770 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, yeah, that&#8217;s pretty self-aware to to be able to call that. Chris, how about you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:17:58.890 \u2014 01:18:15.890 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, it&#8217;s it&#8217;s very eye opening. I would say just not really realizing kind of what the situation was at hand. Yeah. Um, so yeah, I think it&#8217;s just very eye opening and like actually kind of diagnosing what&#8217;s actually going on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:18:15.930 \u2014 01:18:21.250 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah. What would you say you see as the diagnosis, what is going on here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:18:21.290 \u2014 01:18:31.140 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We have a lot of high costs at the price that we, you know, can&#8217;t really afford. Mhm. Kind of bottom line.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:18:31.180 \u2014 01:19:08.700 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think it&#8217;s apparent that we just avoid it and we just kind of dance around the bush all the time, but never really get close to it. You know it&#8217;s like a yeah we just are like well you know it&#8217;ll be fine. It&#8217;s all, you know, touch it and it won&#8217;t hurt you, you know, and you just kind of hope that it&#8217;ll all work itself out because seemingly it has.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Quote unquote. Right. Like, haven&#8217;t lost our house yet. So, you know, and I have like my second job and that brings in, you know, and then that&#8217;s that kind of sits on the side. So I&#8217;m like, okay, that subsidizes whatever I can account for. So I&#8217;ll just, you know, until I, you mentally convince yourself that you&#8217;ve got it handled and you don&#8217;t have it handled.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:19:08.740 \u2014 01:19:09.140 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:19:09.140 \u2014 01:19:26.750 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So I think I just realized that I thought I was more involved than it and taking care of it than I really am. Um, and this is what I&#8217;d hope to get out of it, too, that it shined light on, like my patterns and my behaviors that I think I have under control, but clearly not. And, um, bringing awareness to that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:19:26.790 \u2014 01:20:45.800 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I actually love realizing that I have been doing something wrong. When you&#8217;re not getting the outcomes you want and you&#8217;re like, God, what&#8217;s wrong? Is it me? Am I is there something genetic? And then somebody comes along and says, like, let&#8217;s break down exactly what you&#8217;re doing. Oh, you thought you&#8217;re eating out twice a week.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&#8217;re eating out 20 times a week. You thought you were spending this much, but you actually did not include XYZ, ABC. And you go, oh, it actually all makes sense. Not that it&#8217;s good, but at least it makes sense because once something makes sense, then you can start to make changes. Mm. You might be wondering why I did not get to how much they&#8217;re going to have in retirement, or even contributing to their investments.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&#8217;s intentional because we couldn&#8217;t even get fixed costs below 100% for me to talk about investments 30 years from now would be absolutely pointless. In fact, it would be an escape valve for them to focus on something else instead of the problem of their house burning right now. That&#8217;s why I didn&#8217;t talk about that stuff.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes you got to focus on what is in front of you and nail that before you can go to the next step and the next and the next. Based on what we&#8217;ve talked about today, what do you think you are going to do?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:20:47.000 \u2014 01:21:48.090 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, I think prioritizing getting that debt paid down. Um, I think figuring out where we can flex costs. So like, for example, like in maybe we flex how much the dog care is, I look into other, um, options for his food, if that&#8217;s possible, eventually taking at least the GLP one part of my wellness bracket off increasing income would be nice.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like in summer, I&#8217;m off on summer, so maybe I can take on more hours at the barn. I actually do make a better hourly rate there than I do at my current job. It&#8217;s just the. The hours aren&#8217;t there, so at least in the summer the hours are available. Um, so maybe I could do that to bring in some more income. Really? Actually trying to sit down and look at, I want to, like, actually understand how much we spend on gas and what that really is a month and actually do the numbers.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I also would like to look more into how much we really are eating out and like what we actually are doing, because I think like we just do it and it goes into the cloud and you think it never happened.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:21:48.130 \u2014 01:21:48.810 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chris.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:21:49.130 \u2014 01:21:50.170 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What about you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:21:50.210 \u2014 01:22:19.140 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I just think trying to cut down where we can. Um, I think a big one will be me with the insurance that&#8217;ll kind of cut, cut down costs for us. And I know we can&#8217;t cut it all back. That&#8217;s not, like, totally realistic. But when me and her go home, we&#8217;re definitely going to start looking at things together and, you know, trying to figure out where we can and can&#8217;t Canton trying to come up with a plan for that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So. Okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:19.180 \u2014 01:22:25.620 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is that a more regular time that we talk with each other? Would that be like a Thursday evening or something?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:25.780 \u2014 01:22:27.580 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. What are you going to do in this meeting?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:27.980 \u2014 01:22:29.660 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">First, we should read your book.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:30.020 \u2014 01:22:30.660 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:30.700 \u2014 01:22:33.020 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Start with reading the book and follow the steps.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:33.060 \u2014 01:22:35.660 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe that&#8217;s part of the meeting. Yeah, yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:35.780 \u2014 01:22:44.660 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I think we could read a chapter and then kind of reflect on it. So, like, what did you learn? What did you learn? What are any ideas from this or any ideas from there. And just I like it. Collaborate.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:44.660 \u2014 01:22:48.660 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So you&#8217;re going to come to the meeting both having read chapter one. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:48.700 \u2014 01:22:49.700 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like a book club.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:49.740 \u2014 01:22:54.980 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s a book club. But the two, you&#8217;re going to be having these meetings probably for the rest of your life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:55.060 \u2014 01:22:55.740 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I hope so.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:56.060 \u2014 01:22:56.380 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:56.420 \u2014 01:22:56.940 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:56.940 \u2014 01:22:58.540 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I would like to talk about this frequently.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:22:58.540 \u2014 01:24:17.080 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I like your reactions, so let&#8217;s find a way to enjoy it. We might have a little freaking snack at the beginning. We have an agenda in money for couples that you can use. We always start with a compliment. It always feels good when we start our money meetings, we start with a compliment. It&#8217;s cheap, costs nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s amazing. You choose which book you want to start with. It&#8217;s up to you. But you should read both of them. Yep. Okay. You may want to create a set of core values, and one of them is we make informed decisions quickly. That&#8217;s one. So something needs to be cut out. You cut it out immediately. Next another skill you&#8217;ll need to work on is creating a united front together against the rest of the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can&#8217;t be united together unless each of you knows what you want. If each of you knows what you want, then you can be united as a team that takes work. And then being united despite what the world says to you. That&#8217;s a skill. So when family calls both sides, when friends call you to should practice and rehearse what you&#8217;re going to say.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And if you need help, ask your partner. And the other thing is not avoiding the hard discussions. There are a lot of tough discussions ahead of you. I don&#8217;t look at them as a bad thing. The most important things<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:24:18.160 \u2014 01:24:18.960 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">are hard.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:24:19.000 \u2014 01:24:41.120 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I know that we&#8217;re willing to do that and we need to do that, but I know that we&#8217;re willing to collaborate more instead of me just taking a back seat and me thinking that she&#8217;s just handling it all. Yeah. Um, so, yeah, I, I think that we we know what we need to do from here on out. I, I think so.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:24:41.160 \u2014 01:24:41.640 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:24:41.640 \u2014 01:24:42.880 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That. Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:24:42.920 \u2014 01:25:05.000 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, earning more is the natural next step. You both are young. You have time. But I would not wait. Increasing your income will dramatically affect affordability for the two of you. Um, like the summer opportunity you mentioned to me, that is an absolute no brainer. It&#8217;s a yes. There&#8217;s no discussion about it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:05.040 \u2014 01:25:06.800 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What about being a Starbucks barista?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:06.800 \u2014 01:25:07.200 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why not.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:07.200 \u2014 01:25:07.920 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love coffee?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:07.960 \u2014 01:25:08.360 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why not?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:08.400 \u2014 01:25:09.320 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Got great benefits.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:09.370 \u2014 01:25:10.210 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There you go.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:10.570 \u2014 01:25:12.770 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Thought about it. Might as well go do it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:12.810 \u2014 01:25:23.890 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s time to start taking the decisions again. We make informed decisions quickly because we have a bigger vision than the two of us are going to be comfortable. We talked about what happens if you make no changes. That&#8217;s not an option.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:23.930 \u2014 01:25:25.250 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yeah, not an option.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:25.290 \u2014 01:25:30.770 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You have to make changes, big changes. And they have to happen fast. Are you on board?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:30.810 \u2014 01:25:31.810 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yep. On board.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:25:31.850 \u2014 01:26:32.820 \u00b7 Ramit<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Okay. I think it&#8217;s going to be really hard for Chris and Grace to make the changes that we discussed today, but let&#8217;s remember that before today, they had never had a single substantive conversation about money. Let&#8217;s also remember that Chris does not like to be uncomfortable, and being on this show was the definition of uncomfortable for him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So they&#8217;ve already taken a big step. Will they do it? Probably not until their backs are against the wall. Most people do not make self-development changes unless they have to. I don&#8217;t want them to have 1 or 2 kids and suddenly realize, next month we can&#8217;t afford diapers. I don&#8217;t want that, but there&#8217;s only so much I can say or even do until they realize it for themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So I want to thank Chris and Grace for coming on this show. It was not easy. This is a major opportunity for you to change your entire dynamic. I really hope you do it. And now let&#8217;s take a look at the follow ups.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:26:33.340 \u2014 01:26:55.540 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is our reflection from our time with our meet. Our biggest surprise from the session. Mine was probably related to our different childhoods, experiences with money, and how our parents talked about money or lack of conversation around money, and how that has translated into our adulthood, and how we show up for ourselves and in our relationships in relation to money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:26:55.780 \u2014 01:27:05.260 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And my biggest surprise was how close our income is to our to our neighbors and the the people locally here in our town.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:27:06.550 \u2014 01:27:35.110 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um. And our biggest takeaway. My biggest takeaway probably ties into my biggest surprise. So realizing those patterns and how, you know, I want to take those patterns. And I know my husband wants to take those patterns and change those, um, for our future children and kind of alter those in a more positive way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So having more positive conversations around money, um, and open conversations and being more proactive and changing the patterns that we noticed about our childhood and how we got here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:27:35.630 \u2014 01:27:45.590 \u00b7 Chris<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, and my biggest takeaway, um, is knowing that we need to have more in-depth conversations around our rich life and how we will get there someday.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">01:27:46.030 \u2014 01:28:04.350 \u00b7 Grace<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um, and our changes that we&#8217;d like to make. I think we both agree that we are wanting to one, you know, read the book, but to have more weekly set meetings on Thursdays at six. Um, about, you know, about our finances and, um, moving forward in a positive direction. Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><script>\n!function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s)\n{if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function(){n.callMethod?\nn.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments)};\nif(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n;n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0';\nn.queue=();t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0;\nt.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)(0);\ns.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)}(window, document,'script',\n'https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/fbevents.js');\nfbq('init', '259290718675278');\nfbq('track', 'PageView');\n<\/script><a href=\"https:\/\/www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com\/278-we-spend-108-of-what-we-make-are-we-screwed\/\"> Nuoroda \u012f informacijos \u0161altin\u012f <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff \ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff Ramit unpacks how to stop overspending, take control of your money as a&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":391,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[4067,3742],"class_list":["post-2171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sekmes-istorijos-patarimai","tag-screwed","tag-spend"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 5.0.1.1 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff \ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff\ufeff Ramit unpacks how to stop overspending, take control of your money as a couple, and prepare financially for starting a family. 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